solved it.
When I uploaded the modded minecraft_server.jar file to the server, I saved it as "minecraftforge_server.jar", thinking it would be easy to differentiate it between the other .jars that I could choose from in the .jar file selection list. Apparently the server couldn't tell that it was a custom server file and created another "minecraft_server.jar" file loading that one (and tekkit sub-consequently loaded instead) I changed the name of "minecraftforge_server.jar to minecraft_server.jar and it booted the latest version as well as IC2 (log below)
2012-11-24 19:37:40 [INFO] [ForgeModLoader] Forge Mod Loader version 4.5.2.459 for Minecraft 1.4.5 loading
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [INFO] [STDOUT] 208 recipes
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [INFO] [STDOUT] 27 achievements
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [INFO] [Minecraft] Starting minecraft server version 1.4.5
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [INFO] [ForgeModLoader] Attempting early MinecraftForge initialization
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [INFO] [STDOUT] MinecraftForge v6.4.0.395 Initialized
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [INFO] [ForgeModLoader] MinecraftForge v6.4.0.395 Initialized
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [INFO] [STDOUT] Replaced 84 ore recipies
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [INFO] [ForgeModLoader] Completed early MinecraftForge initialization
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] Building injected Mod Containers [cpw.mods.fml.common.FMLDummyContainer, net.minecraftforge.common.ForgeDummyContainer]
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] Attempting to load mods contained in the minecraft jar file and associated classes
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] Found a minecraft related file at /home/minecraft/multicraft/servers/server169/minecraft_server.jar, examining for mod candidates
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] Skipping known library file /home/minecraft/multicraft/servers/server169/lib/argo-2.25.jar
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] Skipping known library file /home/minecraft/multicraft/servers/server169/lib/guava-12.0.1.jar
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] Skipping known library file /home/minecraft/multicraft/servers/server169/lib/asm-all-4.0.jar
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] Minecraft jar mods loaded successfully
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [INFO] [ForgeModLoader] Searching /home/minecraft/multicraft/servers/server169/mods for mods
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] Found a candidate zip or jar file industrialcraft-2_1.109.113-lf.jar
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] Examining file minecraft_server.jar for potential mods
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] The mod container minecraft_server.jar appears to be missing an mcmod.info file
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] Examining file industrialcraft-2_1.109.113-lf.jar for potential mods
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINER] [ForgeModLoader] Located mcmod.info file in file industrialcraft-2_1.109.113-lf.jar
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] Identified an FMLMod type mod ic2.common.IC2
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINEST] [ForgeModLoader] Parsed dependency info : [] [] []
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [INFO] [ForgeModLoader] Forge Mod Loader has identified 4 mods to load
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] Received a system property request ''
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] System property request managing the state of 0 mods
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] After merging, found state information for 0 mods
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] Activating mod mcp
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] Activating mod FML
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] Activating mod Forge
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] Enabling mod IC2
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] Activating mod IC2
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] Verifying mod requirements are satisfied
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] All mod requirements are satisfied
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] Sorting mods into an ordered list
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] Mod sorting completed successfully
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] Mod sorting data:
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINE] [ForgeModLoader] IC2(IndustrialCraft 2:1.109.113-lf): industrialcraft-2_1.109.113-lf.jar ()
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINER] [ForgeModLoader] Sending event FMLConstructionEvent to mod mcp
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINER] [ForgeModLoader] Sent event FMLConstructionEvent to mod mcp
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINER] [ForgeModLoader] Sending event FMLConstructionEvent to mod FML
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINER] [ForgeModLoader] Sent event FMLConstructionEvent to mod FML
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINER] [ForgeModLoader] Sending event FMLConstructionEvent to mod Forge
2012-11-24 19:37:41 [FINER] [ForgeModLoader] Sent event FMLConstructionEvent to mod Forge
^ ^half of the log, the whole thing is to many characters.
For now it's working Thanks for the help and pointing out that the server version mismatch, without that I wouldn't have been able to figure it out.