Posts by Northern Cross

    Name: Edward Bolts (Executive)

    The Bolts Family: A History

    Among the many countries, dictatorships, and soverign states in the world of Minecraftia, there exists a small, isolated little nation known as Krystallia. Being isolated, its culture was stuck at the European Rennaisance until the advent of the modern airplane. It still exhibited a bias toward Medieval society, until the Third Bordurian War, in 1922. The conflict between Borduria and Syldavia quickly escalated into a continental war. Krystallia was a heavily contested area, resulting in the death of hundreds of thousands of innocent Krystallians until the Parliament demanded a response to these atrocities. The government was translated from a monarchy to a socialist democracy, top scientists were inducted into an emergency nuclear weaponry program, and the border security was tightened so much, the plan used a physical wall. Four years later, the first uranium bomb the world had ever known was dropped on Streichbourg, the Bordurian capital city. Needless to say, the war ended almost immediately. Among the scientists participating in the Dylausa Project was a William Bolts, a relatively unknown royal metallurgist with a penchant for tinkering with radioactive materials. His son, Howard Bolts, was a mathematician and a materials scientist, whose claim to fame was the Bolts- Pierre Theorem, a principal that paved the way to current Macerator technology developed by Alblaka Industries. Considering this impressive lineage, it is hardly surprising that the newest Bolts would make a massive mark on the world. How massive the mark happened to be was completely unprecedented.

    Executive Bolts: Blaster, I'd like you to see something.
    Blaster: All right.
    Bolts: A.I.D.E.N., open Project Talos.
    A.I.D.E.N.: Okay, sir...but there's a Level One clearence requirement. I actually can't open it if Blaster would see it.
    Bolts: Give him Level Zero Clearence, for all I care.
    A.I.D.E.N.: But sir, that doesn't exist!
    Bolts: Why not? I had you program in Level Minus- Eight Thousand One Hundred Ninety- Two for me, so why not Zero?
    Blaster: ...What the hell?
    A.I.D.E.N.: Blaster has Level Zero clearence now, sir...
    Bolts: Anyway, Project Talos was a plan I had back in the second spambot war-
    A.I.D.E.N.: This is the secon one, sir.
    Bolts: No, it's the third. I've had enough of you contradicting me! Computer, remove all heuristics and superfluous emotion functions for one day.
    Computer: Command acknowledged.
    Bolts: Anyway, it was a plan I had back in the second war, for civilian defense.
    Blaster: Aren't you a civilian?
    Bolts: Let's ignore that point. Anyway, it was for civilian defense. It consisted of Aeonium missile launchers situated at strategic points around civilian areas.
    Blaster: But the spambots would detect, and destroy them.
    Bolts: That's the thing. The taint laser had a massively configurable omnispectral redirection field.
    Blaster: The jammer, in English.
    Bolts: Yes. We couldn't detect it with our sensors, but the spambots could.
    Blaster: I get it! We just build one, but with a different setting, so that we can detect it, but the spambots can't! Ingenious.
    Bolts: Thank you. Speaking of the taint laser, the Vis saturation is having a strange effect on interdimensional boundaries.
    Blaster: What does that do?
    Bolts: I guess we'll see.
    *Out of character: Chaoschamp, you can come back into the real story soonish.*

    Executive Lewis: Cannon locked in position, firing point set.
    Lt. Roberts: Why aren't they firing at us? This is too easy.
    Blaster: Taint concentration is rising in your area. It's up to... 67%.
    Executive Kalashnikov: That would mean the taint laser is piercing the Node Drone array, but that's imposibl-
    *A jagged, dark purple bolt lances out of the laser, blasting straight through the Nighthawk. The aircraft explodes into flames and crashes into the side of Mt. Melter. It then erupts in a blinding, bluish- white sphere of Vis, encompassing the entire mountain. The surface of the energy globe shatters, blasting out a giant wave of magic, which consumes the taint in the area and overcharges the aura. The wave continues on, eventually crossing the horizon.*
    Executive Bolts: Well, that's that! Mission accomplished.
    Blaster: Thar was amazing...
    Bolts: Wasn't it? Anyway, the laser's gone, and nodes are being overcharged across the world, so that worked out perfectly! Global taint level is 1%.
    Blaster: Wait a second. Kalashnikov and Lewis are dead, and they didn't have a R.E.S.P.A.W.N. point programmed.
    Bolts: Too bad. I'll see you later.

    *We rejoin our (temporary) heroes flying in the Nighthawk across the White Sea. It can be accurately said that they are none too happy with the arrangement.*
    Executive Lewis: Why the hell did you have to volunteer us for this- this- this suicide mission?
    Executive Kalashnikov: It wasn't my fault!
    Lewis: Of course it wasn't, you idiot! You were drunk!
    Kalashnikov: All I had was one glass!
    Lewis: Of that black stuff from the bottle that said "Sonic- Aged Dragonblood Fermentation By- Product Four!"
    Kalashnikov: The lieutenant put me up to it!
    Lt. Roberts: I did not!
    Computer: Target in sight. Activating auxiliary engines.
    Kalashnikov: Aim the damn cannon already.

    If there would be any posts. I did not see you anywhere except in the spambot wars 3. It is by the Way the reason why valve is not releasing any games with a 3, as it is so bad!

    Open your eyes. I've posted several times on the Rocket Science thread. By the way, is it that bad that I only post there for now? I've just started getting used to the site. At the time of this writing, I'm going to write another post in the Spambot wars thread, because I like writing an exciting and interesting story.

    Steam Box. Exclusive content. Put it together. And the numerology thing is really stupid. Since when does a number have anything to do with the quality of a game?
    I'm getting fed up with this. Just stop, please.
    Thank you, Blaster.

    Executive Bolts: Very well. What specifically are the effects of the heat crystals' destabilization?
    Blaster: The temperature of the planet would drop to near absolute zero.
    Bolts: I see. And that cant't be avoided?
    Blaster: No. The process would be so fast that nothing on the surface of the planet could escape in time.
    Executive Bolts: There was one plan that I scrapped... but-
    Blaster: What was it?
    Executive Bolts: It requires a small, portable railgun, which we don't have access to.
    Blaster: Why?
    Bolts: We need a cubic meter of pure neodymium, and the spambots took it all last month.
    Blaster: I have a stock of it. What else?
    Bolts: We need six compact hydrogen bombs and concentrated crystals of all primal Vis types, inside a missile shot from the railgun.
    Blaster: That sounds too simple. What's the catch? There has to be a catch.
    A.I.D.E.N.: Because the laser is shielded by a jamming field, it will have to be on- site.
    Blaster: Ah. What are the effects of this?
    A.I.D.E.N.: If you would look at this simulation I've made...
    *A wireframe map of Mt. Melter appears on the table. A dot slowly flies up to the peak. At this point it splits in to two images. One shows the six fusion bombs detonating, pushing the matrix of Vis crystals into the center, producing a brilliant flash of light. On the other, the dot rapidly expands into a large sphere, while the image zooms out, eventually encompassing the entire planet. It shows a wave of light emanating from the point of impact moving across the surface, illuminating scores of small points as it does so.*
    A.I.D.E.N.: The explosives fuse the crystals together, creating a field that will rejuvenate aura nodes across the planet.
    Blaster: Very pretty, but what about the taint laser?
    Bolts: Do you think that the entire power of six hydrogen bombs would be focused on one point? Of course not. It's only 75 percent!
    Blaster: Sounds good. When can we finish?
    Bolts: Two days.

    Executive Bolts: Now, Blaster, I have decided on the best course of action. It requires direct action.
    Blaster: There are over 25 million spambots in the area! How could anyone possibly get inside the biome, let alone the Mt. Melter peak!
    Bolts: All they would need to do is get shot down.
    Blaster: Do explain.
    A.I.D.E.N.: The laser has a massive fluxogenic effect on the impact region. The saturation of aspect sub- nodes, combined with the taint field, produces a conformant wave that will disassociate the materials present in the target.
    Blaster: ...What?
    Bolts: To oversimplify, the target gets eaten by an energy field.
    Blaster: Still, what does this have to do with your direct action?
    Bolts: Simple. We have the target carry a large supply of condensed Vis. When the wave hits, the Vis will be absorbed in to the field. The constitution of the laser is such that it will have a negative pressure on the Vis, so it will be conducted down the laser and either shut it down or reduce Mt. Melter to dust. All we need for this is the Vis, a ship, and a pilot.
    Blaster: Where can we get those?
    Bolts: We'll have everything as soon as Jack responds to the communiqu`e I sent. He appears to be taking his time, the lazy bum.

    *We rejoin our heroes aboard the Eos Nova, plotting a new course of action.*
    Executive Bolts: Computer, engage A.I.D.E.N. program.
    Computer: A.I.D.E.N. online.
    A.I.D.E.N.: Hello, sir. What did you want from me?
    Bolts: Status report. And how's Blaster doing?
    A.I.D.E.N.: Well, when I searched the coordinates you gave for the taint laser, I just found interference. Actually, it actively deflected the sensors in such a wide area that we couldn't effectively target it at all. Also, on the powersuit, assembly is proceeding as planned, though you can change it at any time. Would you like to see the current schematics?
    Bolts: Later.
    A.I.D.E.N.: As for Blaster, my cameras caught him looking at a holophoto and a map of the Anathos Autonomous Republic.
    Bolts: Sentimentality... the soldier's worst enemy.
    A.I.D.E.N.: Um, sir... Blaster isn't technically a soldier, and everyone has emotions like that.
    Bolts: True. I just don't let mine get in the way of my work, UNLIKE HIM. Anyway, the way I see it, someone needs to be air- dropped on to the taint laser and plant an explosive device.
    A.I.D.E.N.: That would be a suicide mission.
    Bolts: Too true. And I know just the person for it.

    Backstory/Technical Stuff: Part One
    N.I.C.O.L.E. stands for Nanostring Intelligence Construct and Omnidialetical Lexicographics Emissary. D.A.W.N. is a network system (Dynamic Access Wireless Network) that Executive Edward Bolts of Metasystems Engineering, Inc. augmented with AI capabilities. This configuration is slightly latent and inaccurate, (generally buggy) so a new AI is in the pipeline: A.R.U.M.I, which stands for Autonomus Reordinalized Unifying Metacomputational Intelligence. Reordinalized Unification is a mathematical process that deals with Transfinite Fractanomials, and its base concept is the fact that a fractal transfinite cardinal can be reduced to an ordinal number through the usage of Antiautologicals, strange complex expressions that cannot logistically exist as themselves.

    Executive Bolts: D.A.W.N., Blaster said his team couldn't destroy the Taint Laser because of a "Jammer." What would a jamming field do to prevent an attack?
    D.A.W.N.: It would likely be unable to destroy it on- site, considering the amount of spambots there. The jamming field would make remote attacks impossible as well... but-
    Executive Kalashnikov: Wait! D.A.W.N.! Run an omnispectral analysis on the field!
    Bolts: What is this- Oh my God...
    D.A.W.N.: There's nothing there, sir.
    Kalashnikov: Ah-ha! All we need now is to analyze the records of N.I.C.O.L.E., and then we can devise a plan to counteract this field! D.A.W.N., send a message to Blaster and ask for N.I.C.O.L.E. We'll need her in a drive; the internet isn't safe enough.

    Executive Bolts: We've found something else out.
    Executive Kalashnikov: The shield surrounding the spambot carrier is not actually plasmonic, but an inertial multipoint projection.
    Communications Interlink Moderator: This call has timed out. Would you like to continue with recipient: Blaster, or omit and switch to single call?
    Executive Bolts: Clarify recipient identities.
    C.I.M.: Recipients are: 11549248- Q: Wasmic.
    Executive Jack: How the hell did he tap in to this call?
    Executive Bolts: He didn't. I left a line open just in case the call with Blaster was interrupted.
    Wasmic: I have no idea what an inertial multipoint projection is, so explain.
    Executive Lewis: Pretty much a fancy name for your standard force field. My colleague will never use layman's terms if he can avoid it.
    Executive Bolts: Thank you, Lewis. Any way, it's an exceptionally strong one, so normal weapons wouldn't do anything worth the time invested in it. Unless...
    Executive Jack: Bolts! I told you it wasn't going to happen! Do you know how much money I invested in this thing?
    Executive Bolts: 24 times 10 to the 3rd En, approximately. Also, before you say something along the lines of "Yes, and I still want to keep it for when we have another asteroid threat", may I remind you that the next asteroid threat is in seventy- three years, and this array was built in the 60s. D.A.W.N., commence launch sequence.
    Executive Jack: This whole plan is insane. You're firing millions of 3000- millimeter deflagratory- assisted rail guns within the space of three seconds. I don't think we're going to survive this at all.
    Executive Lewis: Oh, we will, but I've got two- kay En on six meters.
    Wasmic: Six meters what? Are you saying that you are betting that this whole area is going to be driven six meters into the ground?
    Executive Bolts: At least three.

    It must happen... It happens all the time... It cannot be avoided.

    Writer's Block! The bane of an artist's existence.

    That being said, don't expect me to post anything of narrative relevance any time soon.