Dark Wings - Discussion

  • Link to story.
    It's a 10-page novel probably showing up similaritys to TDC (though it doesn't have any direct link to the plot, except for the fact it's taking place in Darakeyn).


    Wrote it based on a sudden inspiration yesterday night, from 21:00 to 00:30 :3


    Since I've got your attention right now, either way:
    Be advised the story "Dark Wing" is not as "gory" as TDC (if you even considered it something along that line), but is much more dramatic and could cause more sentimental beings to become depressed or even burst into tears. Read on own danger.

  • I really liked the story. Especially the time jumps make it really moving and interesting while giving an idea, why the events are happening exactly like this. I had found it interesting if there were no names at all, atleast not for the protagonists. The first two chapters are really mysterious and somewhat even more interesting then the rest. Even though this may be due to my Bastion addiction, that tells the story exactly like this *gg*. In any way, good job!


    Farfar

  • Hehe, thanks for the constructive feedback.


    Ye, I considered leaving the names out, as well, but at some point it just wouldn't have been feasible anymore. F.e. in the last scene where she asks him directly to "Snap out of it" and calls out to him... without actually calling his name this wouldn't even sound half as impressive.
    As well, while it's quickly obvious that Kelda is the one fighting, the fact she is fighting Sykes isn't confirmed until the last scene (though it gets progressively more clear along the story, which is full intention).


    Glad you liked the story :3


    What is this "Bastion" you're talking about? Manga/Novel/Webcomic?

  • Bastion is an award winning Indie Game by supergiant games. Was even in the humble indie Bundle. Its a hack an Slash top view story focused thingy with a narrators voice and soundtrack everyone everywhere wants to make love to :D


    And indeed, the last scene wouldnt really make a difference from the rest without names : /


    FarFar

  • The sudden inclusion of a name really made that last scene stand out. :thumbsup:

    1. OMG CREEPER RUN AWAY!
    2. Go away, you creeper wierdo!
    3. What ever, I'll just go around.
    4. Hup, over their heads I go!
    5. Okay Mister living grenade, I'm going to knock you into those skeletons, and I'll follow through with a nano saber. Understood? FOR THE ALMIGHTLY DRAGON LORD!

  • I kinda wanted a happy ending, but this is okay too..... :|

    1. OMG CREEPER RUN AWAY!
    2. Go away, you creeper wierdo!
    3. What ever, I'll just go around.
    4. Hup, over their heads I go!
    5. Okay Mister living grenade, I'm going to knock you into those skeletons, and I'll follow through with a nano saber. Understood? FOR THE ALMIGHTLY DRAGON LORD!