Are you tired of staring at your crops for HOURS and HOURS on end, punching hundreds of weeds, and struggling to make those plants breed, leaving for a small excursion to relieve the monotony... Only to then witness an entire field of weeds destroying all you worked so hard to accomplish?
Then what YOU need, my friend, is our NEWEST product; FERTILIZER-X!
Using the most advanced in plant-nutrition science- mixed with just a pinch of uranium!- your plants will be multiplying and mutating right before your eyes*!
You'll never have to spend hours waiting for those plants to crossbreed again!
ORDER NOW!
*Due to the highly random nature of radiation mutation, actual plant produced may vary. We do not take responsibility for any plants lost or loss of life from radiation-empowered super weeds, nor for any permanent damage to your soil or environment from unintended side-effects of radiation exposure.
(Summary: Mix uranium dust or a uranium ingot with a bunch of fertilizer, and it will make a super fertilizer which, although it will NOT affect plant growth, it will cause the cropstick its placed on to permanently become 'radiated'. Radiated crops crossbreed VERY readily, and have a much greater random element to crop statistics, though for the sake of balance, this should probably occasionally make inferior crops, with better ones being rarer then usual but having much more potential of increasing a lot in one or two stats in one generation. Also, causes weeds to be much more likely to grow in that plot, and these weeds will occasionally have unusual traits, such as super-growth, unusual spread mechanics, or even poison like venomilia. Rare radiation poisoning while near the plot might also be cool, but at the same time, not really...)