Radiated Fertilizer

Are you tired of staring at your crops for HOURS and HOURS on end, punching hundreds of weeds, and struggling to make those plants breed, leaving for a small excursion to relieve the monotony... Only to then witness an entire field of weeds destroying all you worked so hard to accomplish?

Then what YOU need, my friend, is our NEWEST product; FERTILIZER-X!

Using the most advanced in plant-nutrition science- mixed with just a pinch of uranium!- your plants will be multiplying and mutating right before your eyes*!

You'll never have to spend hours waiting for those plants to crossbreed again!

ORDER NOW!

*Due to the highly random nature of radiation mutation, actual plant produced may vary. We do not take responsibility for any plants lost or loss of life from radiation-empowered super weeds, nor for any permanent damage to your soil or environment from unintended side-effects of radiation exposure.

(Summary: Mix uranium dust or a uranium ingot with a bunch of fertilizer, and it will make a super fertilizer which, although it will NOT affect plant growth, it will cause the cropstick its placed on to permanently become 'radiated'. Radiated crops crossbreed VERY readily, and have a much greater random element to crop statistics, though for the sake of balance, this should probably occasionally make inferior crops, with better ones being rarer then usual but having much more potential of increasing a lot in one or two stats in one generation. Also, causes weeds to be much more likely to grow in that plot, and these weeds will occasionally have unusual traits, such as super-growth, unusual spread mechanics, or even poison like venomilia. Rare radiation poisoning while near the plot might also be cool, but at the same time, not really...)

Quote from MatLaPatate

That sounds interesting to me ... but I think it's too small to be even seen by devs

How would that change anything?

(Also, just a little observation, your message was made at exactly 4:20pm)

EDIT: also, alternatives to having to craft the stuff with fertilizer may be to macerate uranium into dust, then you could have different 'grades' of radiation; simply tossing the dust onto a cropstick will provide a permanent and powerful radiation effect, causing all sorts of FUN and PROFIT for anyone brave enough to face the Random Number Gods' whims!
Alternatively, one can craft the dust on its own to break it into four dusts, which will still provide a permanent effect, but 1/4th as powerful. They can also be stacked on top of each other in a single cropstick, up to a maximum of 4.
And the third option, is to take a small pile of uranium dust, and craft it with eight fertilizer, which will provide eight Fertilizer-X. (Or maybe U, or 92) This is the most controlled version of them all, and although it's not as powerful, it also has a slight bent toward improving crops rather then being completely random. However, its effects are not permanent, and will very slowly dwindle to nothing over time, as well as being depleted any time nutrients are depleted. It will also provide plant nutrients in the same way as fertilizer.

Quote from GregoriusT

Let me guess: You are either German, Italian, Austrian or something else in middle Europe.

Florida.

Also, I take it this is a bad suggestion...?
One person's given their input on it...