Fun: Diary of the last survivors of the spambot apocalypse

  • Day 68: The T-1000 is arriving. DAMMIT WE ARE SCREWED! Unless..... *crafts Qsuit and makes it look like a T-1000* I can just simply call myself a prototype for the T-1000 in this thing lol. FOR THE DRAGONLORD!!!!!!!!! *runs out at insane speeds with Qsuit on ice*


    A few moments later....


    Whoops, forgot the Tomeatron. /facepalm. I'll be off kicking ass and chewing porkchops with my Mininglaser, brb.


    **END OF DAY 68 TL;DR VERSION**

  • *later in a planing meeting @Leo's base*
    --BEGIN RECORDING--
    time awakesince i started keeping track again: 00:00:00:00
    ok while the "chosen one" goes and gets himself impaled on the pointy finger of a T1000 we should plan our next move. so lets start wit what we already know for those who don't know yet
    *gestures at I don't now*
    simply put the spam bot contamination is more wide spread then we could possibly have imagined every layer bellow layer 0 is solid spambots all the way to the core of the planet and as per standard gregtech quarantine procedure all space craft have either left the planet or have been scuttled. there is many scenarios and theories to explain why the spambots haven't gone all out on us. most of those scenarios are one which we don't have a snowballs chance in hell of getting out of this alive so we will just focus on and plan for the scenarios where we do stand a chance.


    the first scenario is that the spambots don't have the energy to attack us because they expended it all on reproduction and there fore will only react to strong energy signatures as they attempt to scrounge up more power this means that any radio or teleporter transmission capable of reaching orbit will cause the area to be over run with spambots within a few moments


    the second scenario is that the spambots seek to keep us alive so that they can advertise to us. if that's the case then we can assume that the reason they are attacking any significant energy signature is to attempt to stomp out any means of escape.


    what ever the scenario we basically have two options


    first we could salvage parts and build a ship to escape in. if we do this we would have to haul the parts to the summit of Mt. Alblaka-hocked-a-loogie. the tallest mountain in the world. with the hope that the mass of the mountain will slow the spambots break through enough for us to power up the engines and escape.


    second we could *looks in the general direction that T10a ran off* uhhh never mind it probably isn't all that possible forget i said anything.


    --END RECORDING--

    true balance is impossible in video games the best one can hope for is to make it really hard to guess which of 2 choices are better.
    and remember kids "NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF JOKES!"

  • Someone told me that the T-1000 is weak against heat and liquid nitrogen. If we used our flamethrowers... WAIT! That reminds me! Instead of a fire breath, the Wyvern has a breath almost as cold as LN. After we freeze it, we just shoot it with a pistol and it shatters into a million pieces! We have to make sure we do this in a cold environment though, if it stays in that state for long enough (probably at least one day), it will be terminated.


    --END RECORDING--

  • Day 71--BEGIN TRANSMISSION-
    *KKKrkrkkkkrccchhhh*
    Is... this thing... on?
    *Krrrccccrrrchhhh*
    Okay... just woke up... long term stasis... chamber...
    *KKKKKrrRREEEChhhh*
    Have... vital... intel... spambots...
    *KKKKrrrrcccchhhhhh*
    Come... help... teleporter cords... MFSU running low...
    *KKKKKrrrrreeeeeeeCCCHHHh*
    Nuclear... reactor... out of... fuel...
    *CRRRRREKKKKEAAACH*
    Burning... anything I can...
    *KkkkkRReeeeeeeCHHHH*
    Tree farm... not working... air quality... bad...
    *KKKkkkkkkRrreeeeeccchhh*
    *Static*
    *Faint* Help me...
    -END OF TRASSMISSION-

    Haikus are poems

    They don't always make sense

    Potato

  • --BEGIN RECORDING--
    time awake: 03:00:00:00
    *listens to nanomanz transmission*
    Sigh its to risky to teleport it could draw the spambots here I will have to leg it
    *leaves note for the others saying where he has gone*
    *looks at the expansive landscape before him*
    or...
    *glances around to see if no one is looking*
    *pulls out a unusually large spiked waffle iron on a chain*
    *begins spinning the weapon above his head*
    I could give Bertha some fresh air
    *launches into the air like thor*
    --END RECORDING--

    true balance is impossible in video games the best one can hope for is to make it really hard to guess which of 2 choices are better.
    and remember kids "NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF JOKES!"

  • Science Log, Stardate 202.63 after first attack.
    I suggested that we should try to create a permanently active teleporter into orbit which will teleport everything that moves. The energy signature of that teleporter would be so large that all the spambots that are awake would travel to it and get teleported into space. Of course, not into a spaceship, but right into the vaccuum of space. While they do this, we would start with a spaceship. If too many spambots would come towards the launching pad, we would blow up the reactor powering the teleporter. This would cause a short time of distraction. I hope I won't have to use the result of our work in the facility... Well, they said the would decide tomorrow, so I'll ask them in about one hour.
    **END OF ENTRY***

    Sorry for my not perfect English, my native language is German. If I made any mistakes, please tell me.
    The "now" in "I don't now" is intended.
    I pretty much stopped playing Minecraft for Kerbal Space Program and you should do the same!

  • -- BEGIN LOGENTRY --


    I finally found a way to get rid of all the Bots, but its impossible to do it, since they are inside the Planet, and the Planet would collapse, if all of them are removed from there. Teleporting or beaming all the Bots into Space, would also cause massive problems with the gravity.


    There is only one Spaceship left, with the exception of my Flagship.
    But its one, that i build to be very similar to the low Techlevel here, so i have to upgrade it a bit.


    [...]


    I think 3 ZPM's are enough to power it, and these Bots are not able to detect ZPM-Energy until its used by the Ship, so that they think, that this is a normal Ship. Also the Freeztning-Cannons are very effective against those Bots. Beamtechnology will surely help alot at picking up Non-Bots.



    [...]


    I sent one of my remotecontrolled Duplicates to that Ship, so that i have the full Control over the Situation down there, but from secured Orbit inside my Flagship. These people will most likely think that this is really me, but he is remotecontrolled, and due to my superior Technology and 10000 years of constant improving completely Hackproof. I will not tell them, that he is one of my Duplicates.


    Now my Duplicate will search for a few Survivors on the Surface.


    -- END LOGENTRY --



    -- BEGIN TRANSMISSION FROM SHIP --


    Gregorius:


    To all Survivors of this War,


    I have upgraded one of my old Ships, to fight against the Bots. This Ship is also rescueing Survivors, which are in range.


    Our completely new (and totally not already known since nearby 10000 years) Beamtechnology is helping us to pick only Non-Bots up.


    I'm commanding that Ship, and will search for new Ways to finally destroy the Bots, without destroying the entire Planet.


    Ending Transmission now.


    -- END TRANSMISSION FROM SHIP --

    I don't say, your "insert whatever" is bad. I'm only showing ways for making it better.
    GregTech Website
    Patreon really helps me out. If you consider funding the development of GT, so I might be able to do it fulltime, why not?
    GregTech 6, the Main Thread, Bug Reports go here too.
    I'm also on #gt-dev on irc.esper.net, if you don't want to make a Forum account just to contact me.
    (I'm there almost every day, when I'm at my own computer. Yes you can drop bugs and suggestions there too)

  • -- BEGIN MESSAGE --
    Melting is a bad Idea. Heat = Energy, Energy = activating Bots, moving Bots = breaking Planet
    -- END MESSAGE --

    I don't say, your "insert whatever" is bad. I'm only showing ways for making it better.
    GregTech Website
    Patreon really helps me out. If you consider funding the development of GT, so I might be able to do it fulltime, why not?
    GregTech 6, the Main Thread, Bug Reports go here too.
    I'm also on #gt-dev on irc.esper.net, if you don't want to make a Forum account just to contact me.
    (I'm there almost every day, when I'm at my own computer. Yes you can drop bugs and suggestions there too)

  • --BEGIN RECORDING--
    I ditched the Tomeatron after it 'accidentally' fell into lava, but never mind. I'm now heading back to base. *fighting surface spambots with fists*
    *sees the GSS Gregorius fly overhead, it suddenly beams me up* I HAD THIS UNDER CONTR-teleporting sound-
    On ship....


    Terminal: Due to your robotic look, we ask you to try the recapatcha, then we will perform another different test to ensure you weren't programmed to defeat Capatchas easily. Me: Ok... Bring it. *Completes tests* Terminal: I see you are human. I wonder, what is your name? Me: I am T10a, ex-U.S.D.F (United Servers Defense Force)
    Terminal: Checking file.... Accepted. Welcome to the GSS Gregorius. Me: Yes! I'll check out the ship! Terminal: Don't brea- *I run off to cafeteria* Never mind. Humans are so ignorant these days...
    --END OF RECORDING--

    The post was edited 1 time, last by T10a ().

  • Day: 79
    Location: New Nether
    Transmission sender: Devil


    -- Begin Transmission --


    I teleported the whole of the nether to a new dimension using myst craft,
    Before the spambots started consuming the planets core.
    I have a weapon that will melt every single spam bot that makes up the planets core.
    a volcanite amulet,
    I hope you get this volcanite amulet im sending through the myst portal.
    Signing off!


    -- End Transmission --

    The Truth! (!!!WARNING!!! DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU'RE RELIGIOUS IN ANY WAY!!!)


  • --BEGIN TRANSMISSION--


    Nano, if you are still here and alive, and listening to this message, good. I'm using my GPS to locate and rescue you. You should hear the sound of jets, if you're conscious enough.


    --END TRANSMISSION--

  • Meanwhile in nanomanz bunker
    --BEGIN RECORDING--
    time awake: 03:13:05:32
    * Indiana Jones music plays*
    *boulder rolls*
    *CRASH*
    *crunch crunch crunch*
    Bad Bertha! BAD! you know your not supposed to eat boulders.
    *radio chatter*
    sigh don't people read notes any more
    --BEGIN TRANSMISSION--
    Negative Leo I'm already here and making my way to the stasis chamber I'll meet you on gregs ship once I grab nanomanz to discuss how to take care of the spambots it may interest you since your into remelting the core
    --END TRANSMISSION--
    ok almos...
    *1000 beady little bot eyes suddenly open*
    *lurker smiles*
    Bertha its hammer time
    *chain retracts to the handle and locks in place*
    Bertha: MC HAMMER MODE ENGAGED!
    --END RECORDING: ERROR: TO AWESOME FOR MORTAL EYES--

    true balance is impossible in video games the best one can hope for is to make it really hard to guess which of 2 choices are better.
    and remember kids "NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF JOKES!"

  • Lurker and nano: what's making that noise?
    *hears rapid breathing noises and footsteps*
    Lurker and nano: get your lasers out
    *sees me running towards them*
    Them: oh wait put them back it's just Leo
    Me: *huff* *puff* looks like I made it just in time, didn't I?
    Them: you sure did. Get ready!
    Me: oh I'm ready alright. I've got my megashark ready and fully loaded.
    *hears loud roar*
    All of us: ATTACK!
    A while later...
    Me: phew... Let's get outta here!
    Lurker: ok let's take my... *hears explosion* FUCK!
    Me: GET TO THE CHOPPA! *shoots the spambot that was about to destroy it*


    --END RECORDING--

  • -- BEGIN LOGENTRY --
    While my Duplicate is searching for Survivors, i saw, that the allmighty Banhammer was used against a non-Bot.


    I scanned the Area for any reason, why that happened, and found out that its victim was extremely flaming someone else, because of being one of the Supporters of the Clusterfuck, which shall not be named.


    I'm actually rebuilding the GregTower on another Planet, because the old one got Selfdestructed.
    -- END LOGENTRY --

    I don't say, your "insert whatever" is bad. I'm only showing ways for making it better.
    GregTech Website
    Patreon really helps me out. If you consider funding the development of GT, so I might be able to do it fulltime, why not?
    GregTech 6, the Main Thread, Bug Reports go here too.
    I'm also on #gt-dev on irc.esper.net, if you don't want to make a Forum account just to contact me.
    (I'm there almost every day, when I'm at my own computer. Yes you can drop bugs and suggestions there too)

  • ---OVERIDING TRANSMISSION PROTOCOALS---
    ---WARNING:TRANSMISSION INTERCEPTED BY SPAMBOT HACKERS---
    Spambots {#%{{# into gregt%^#} shiphoning p#%£€ duplicating the %#^#
    Stop using WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY A KITCHEN? VISIT KITCHEN KINGDOM!
    Use iridium sab}%%} to }%^^ Spamb}#¥

    Enter 1.45.864.6780.578 in your tel#%(@&) running out of power.....
    ---END OF TRANSMISSION---

    MinecraftCreeper =Ahh fuck!
    :Nuke TNT: = SHIT!
    MinecraftCreeper+ :Nuke TNT: =SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, WE ARE ALL CLUSTERFUCKED!!!!

    The post was edited 1 time, last by DrK D3m0n ().

  • -- BEGIN SECURED TRANSMISSION --
    Warning, the Spambots have reached the Ruins of the old GregTower!


    Even if i removed all the Computers there, there were still some Communicationantennas left, which got captured by the Bots. They are now using it to spam the old Frequencies.


    Change your Communicationfrequencies, before they spam you!
    -- END SECURED TRANSMISSION --

    I don't say, your "insert whatever" is bad. I'm only showing ways for making it better.
    GregTech Website
    Patreon really helps me out. If you consider funding the development of GT, so I might be able to do it fulltime, why not?
    GregTech 6, the Main Thread, Bug Reports go here too.
    I'm also on #gt-dev on irc.esper.net, if you don't want to make a Forum account just to contact me.
    (I'm there almost every day, when I'm at my own computer. Yes you can drop bugs and suggestions there too)

  • Day 86: Oh god. They aren't spamming kitchens, they're spamming DUBSTEP! THE HORROR
    *WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB* :cursing: GTFO MY RADIO FREQUENCY *changes frequency but it changes to moar dubstep* :cursing: WHY DUBSTEP!!!!! *shoots transmitter with MiningLaser* TAKE THAT! *accidentally puts a hole in the ship because it was in long range mode for extra hayo* Great. I NEED CONSTRUCTION FOAM ON SECTION 4 DECK 3 ROW 2 CABIN 1. HULL BREACH ALERT!! *sound of wind rushing out of ship* Gotta go, need to patch this with something!

  • ---BEGIN TRANSMISSION---
    ---WARNING: THIS MESSAGE HAD BEEN INTERCEPTED BY SPAMBOTS
    I repeat, stop using Gregt^&*$!
    It's drawing the bots out of the %#$#, And their's using it to ^&*&*^&^!!!
    Only use iridium sa&$% to kill them!
    I repeat, use WUB WUB WUB WUB Solar city solar panels 50% off!
    Telepor%^&&* to 1.45.864.6780.578 I'mnearly out of power and food......

    MinecraftCreeper =Ahh fuck!
    :Nuke TNT: = SHIT!
    MinecraftCreeper+ :Nuke TNT: =SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, WE ARE ALL CLUSTERFUCKED!!!!

    The post was edited 1 time, last by DrK D3m0n ().