Fun: Diary of the last survivors of the spambot apocalypse

  • --BEGIN RECORDING--
    time awake: 02:06:56:10
    *a big energy wave rushes past* FUS-RO-DAH!*all the zergs and zerg mutations fall over dead*
    good they tasted like crap any ways
    I CAN RECCCCOMEND THIER KITTTTCHENS
    JERSYYYS FOOOR SALLLE
    SSSSOLAR PPANEL? CALLL SOLAR CIIITY
    oh..
    my..
    god...
    GREG YOU FOOL! the zerg constantly eating them caused them to accelerate their multiplication and now with out the zerg they are multiplying out of control! not even i can stomach this many!


    time awake: 03:17:41:27
    i have escaped through the subway system and have found a hiding place in what appears to be a ruined greg galactical outpost whats this sign say? C-o-n-d-i-m-e-n-t r-&-d? huh?
    --END RECORDING--

    true balance is impossible in video games the best one can hope for is to make it really hard to guess which of 2 choices are better.
    and remember kids "NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF JOKES!"

  • Day 57(early morning)
    ZZZZZzzzzZZZzzz......
    ZzzZZZzzzzzZZZZ......
    ZzZZzzzzZZZZZzz......
    *BOOOM* Zzz... huh? What's going on outside? Those bots better not be up to something! *looks out window and sees the anti-Zerg shockwave killing all the Zerg* I must tell the others about this!


    --BEGIN MESSAGE--
    Guys, I just got woken up by the shockwave Greg sent. I thought the spambots were up to something, but then I looked out my window and saw the wave heading towards the Zerg hideout. They instantly reacted, but they were too late. Their lives on our planet are beginning to end.


    --END MESSAGE--

    • Official Post

    Day 57 (midday)


    -- BEGIN LOGENTRY --


    Good that i stopped the Zerg, they were duplicating the Bots even more, by killing them inefficiently.


    But now, the Spambots are even more aggressive. I should go to my Flagship. Its better to be there than here, and i can watch the Spectacle from high Orbit. Aside from that i can bomb the Spambots also from there.


    Most of these Spambots are going to attack the GregTower, because of the Disrupter on top of it. But i'm beaming the Disruptor and all my other secret Technologies, to my Ship, so these Bots cant get access to them.


    -- END LOGENTRY --

  • Day 59: The charging up of my Portable Tesla Coil is complete! TAKE THIS SPAMBOTS *smites a group of Spambots approaching GregTech HQ with Portable TeslaCoil* HOOAH! *a few spambots run away* What's the matter, baby gonna - GET OFF ME SPAMBOT! *Impales Spambot with Nanosaber*. Ok, now that I have my wish granted, I need that EE2 Flying ring thingy and my counterSpambot gear is complete. Shopping on EBay for one, cya on the field.
    **END OF DAY 59**


  • --BEGIN RECORDING--
    time awake: I don't even %$@*@! know anymore
    this gregtech outpost seems to be dedicated to the research of condiments I have already found some useful items like this ketchup bottle that glows blue in the presence of spam bots
    *looks down*
    uh-oh


    time awake: crap! crap! crap!
    *running noise*
    crap! crap! crap! crap! crap! crap! crap! crap! crap!
    *running noise*
    --END RECORDING--


    --HIGH POWER GENERAL FREQUENCY HIJACK--
    THERE IS A NEST OF SLEEPER SPAM BOTS UNDER GREGTECH CONDIMENT R&D!!


    NUMBERS ARE AT LEAST TEN TIMES THAT OF THE BOTS ON THE SURFACE!!!


    TO EVERYONE YOU CAN HEAR ME DIRECT ALL BUNKER PENETRATING NUCLEAR ORDINANCE YOU GOT AT THESE COORDINATES BEFORE ITS TO LATE!!!!
    *sending coordinates*
    --END TRANSMISSION--

    true balance is impossible in video games the best one can hope for is to make it really hard to guess which of 2 choices are better.
    and remember kids "NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF JOKES!"

  • Day 61: I received passinglurker's coordinates, i set my Nuclearmissiles to fire to there. FOR HAYOISHNESS AND IC2!!!!! *Presses button in an epic way* *NuclearMissiles launch in background* I would advise evacuating that spot ASAP Passing, if you do not want to be overdosed with OVER 9000 Radiationlevel and 9 MILLION Gibbl!


    Now I'm just sitting around, twiddling with my Buildcraft Machines.

  • Day 61(evening)


    While I was putting the Wyvern to sleep, I heard the woosh sound of huge rockets.


    *WOOSH* Whats happening out there this time? *sees rockets* OH MY GOD LURKER!!!


    --BEGIN MESSAGE--


    PASSINGLURKER! GET OUT OF THE CORRUPTED OUTPOST NOW!! THE ROCKETS ARE COMING!!!


    --END MESSAGE--

  • --BEGIN RECORDING--
    time awake: crap! crap! crap! crap!
    *reaches surface*
    --INCOMING TRANSMISSION--

    --BEGIN MESSAGE--


    PASSINGLURKER! GET OUT OF THE CORRUPTED OUTPOST NOW!! THE ROCKETS ARE COMING!!!


    --END MESSAGE--

    --END TRANSMISSION--
    *looks up*
    CRAP!! CRAP!! CRAP!! CRAP!! CRAP!! CRAP!! CRAP!!
    *stuffs self inside fridge*
    *muffled* Indian Jones eat your heart out!
    *nukes go off*
    YOL TOOR SHUL!!!
    --END RECORDING: ERROR--

    true balance is impossible in video games the best one can hope for is to make it really hard to guess which of 2 choices are better.
    and remember kids "NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF JOKES!"

    Edited once, last by passinglurker ().

  • Day 62: Sorry about the mess GregoriusT, but believe your containment area just got nuked due to the amount of Spambots in the basement. Releasing the Iron Golems NOW. **Iron Golems kill the surviving Spambots* This should crippl- WTF IS A FRIDGE DOING HERE?! *goes down in private Zepplin Mod Shuttle* *knocks on door* Hello? Anybody in there? *Passinglurker exits* Passinglurker:I don't know about you, but that was AWESOME. I mean, one of the best- Me: Yeah yeah, let's get to the *Spambot destroys shuttle* WTF?! DAMMIT! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET HOME NOW?! *Kills Spambot with Mininglaser* One thing's for sure, we need to get outta here. *Runs away to the sunset with Passinglurker*


    **END OF DAY 62**

  • later that night hiding in a fox hole with T10a "there is something you must know" *pulls out recording device*
    --BEGIN PLAYBACK--
    time awake: I JUST NUKED THE FRIDGE!
    craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*THUD!* what the!? *open door* hmm it appears i have achieved orbit *glances around* and have bumped into a gregtech observation satellite. well lets just wire this stuff up at take a look at the nuke site...
    --INCOMING DATA FEED--
    spambot saturation report:
    layer 64: 0%
    layer 65: 0%
    layer 63: .1%
    *scroll, scroll, scroll*
    layer 10: 5%
    layer 9: 6%
    layer 8: 7%
    *scroll, scroll*
    layer 1: 14%
    layer 0: error
    (void)layer -1: 100%
    (void)layer -2: 100%
    *scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll*
    (void)layer -128: still 100%
    --END DATA FEED--
    that is not good.
    --WARNING REENTERING ATMOSPHERE--
    that is really really not good
    *closes door*
    --END PLAYBACK--
    "the planets core is solid spambots we need to get off this rock before they pull the crust apart"

    true balance is impossible in video games the best one can hope for is to make it really hard to guess which of 2 choices are better.
    and remember kids "NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF JOKES!"


  • --BEGIN TRANSMISSION--
    *sending coordinates*
    be advised there is an unfathomable number of spam bots just below the planets crust as far as we can tell comprising the entirety of the planets core. any place where the crust is thin such as a ravine, quarry hole, large ocean, or nuclear crater is a potential breakthrough point if your base is near anything like that you should make preparations to relocate immediately
    --END TRANSMISSION--

    true balance is impossible in video games the best one can hope for is to make it really hard to guess which of 2 choices are better.
    and remember kids "NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF JOKES!"

  • --INCOMING COORDS--


    Ah, there they are! Gotta warm up the engine.


    --BEGIN MESSAGE--


    Guys, Im on my way. You should see a ladder come down.


    --END MESSAGE--


    *engine starts* Droids, send a vilethorn down into the earth. They told me there are spambots near the core.


    DROIDS: Right away, Sir.

  • --BEGIN RECORDING--
    time awake: can't this field fill its self out?
    so many questions. how did the core get replaced with spam bots? and how it the planet still holding together? with their combined physical strength they could rip the earth to pieces and eject the crust into space at any moment. are they dormant? if so how do we keep it that way till we can escape? are there any functioning space craft still on the planet? or did greg launch all of them to prevent the spambots from escaping? do the bots even want to escape? or do they just want to trap people here to fulfill their programming? is there any way out of this beside evacuation? well there's NAAWWW even if he survived he wouldn't be to keen on being hooked up to the "chosen ones" Tesla coil. forget it computer just edit that part out what do you mean you can't edit!? what kind of cheap pie-*BONK!* OW! what the- oh a ladder
    *begins climbing*
    *muffled*kitchensssss
    *a giant tentacle shape made of spambots erupts from the ground*
    CRAP!
    Leo: yeah they've been popping out every few miles you should get up here fast


    but why would they pop out now!? *light bulb* are you running an IFF transponder!?


    Leo: yeah high powered so my bots know where i am why?


    did it occur to you that the bots might be sleeping and that powerful energy signatures might wake them up!?
    *bot-entacle takes a swing at the whirlybird*
    Leo: *evading* yeah that makes sense now get up here before we get swatted out of the sky!
    *bot-entacle takes a swing at lurker*
    --END RECORDING--

    true balance is impossible in video games the best one can hope for is to make it really hard to guess which of 2 choices are better.
    and remember kids "NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF JOKES!"

    • Official Post

    -- BEGIN LOGENTRY --
    I found out that these Bots are getting attracted to Energy.


    That would be a huge Problem, if they even could leave the Planet. My Arcturasgenerator is the most powerfull Energysource in this Galaxy, and that since i invented it 10000 years ago. If they would get onto my Flagship, then they could duplicate nearby infinitely.


    Good that these Bots are programmed to trap people, and not to conquer the universe like my asuran Replicators.


    I'm actually scanning the nuked Area for Nonbots. Maybe there is someone, who survived. May like Indiana Jones in a Fridge... HAHAHAHAHA! *sees a Fridge colliding with an old Satellite, right after saying that*
    -- END LOGENTRY --

  • Don't worry lurker, I'll save you! Spambots hate these things! *grabs vilethorn* HEEYAH!
    *spambot tentacle collapses into a million pieces*
    Lurker and T: what is that?
    Me: it's called a vilethorn. It sends a mysterious thorned stalk that can burrow deep into the earth as far as the core, though it can't survive for long on the surface. I have 2 spare ones left. You can use them anytime you want, but you need to wait for it to regenerate.
    Lurker and T: thanks.
    Me: no prob. Test them.
    *tests their vilethorns*
    Lurker and T: cool...

  • Day 64
    My army of T-800 Terminator robots is almost finished. On the subject of Terminators, bad news:


    THEY HAVE A T-1000!


    Its made of a mimetic polyalloy. That means that it can disguise itself as anyone of us, so we have to be careful. It can also form itself into many shapes, being able to simply turn one of its fingers into a sharp spike.

  • Science Log, Stardate 179.73 after first attack.
    After the explosion of the power plant many spambots came to the town. As they didn't come to the radiaton-shielded facility, I suppose they get attracted by radiation or other kinds of energy. If just my radio worked! I don't even know if anyone else survived... In the last days, seismic activities got stronger, I even had to emergency-shutdown the faciity's mark II once, because it almost exploded! A mark II! I hope I won't have to leave the facility, but I'm running out of food. I will try to send a message including a captcha using a frequency loop, even if it will contaminate my food. It's my last hope!
    **END OF LOG ENTRY**


    *START OF TRANSMISSION*
    Is anyone out there? If yes, please send someone with a teleporter! Mine doesn't work correctly anymore, it can't send anything, it can only receive transporter signals. Well, I hope it can. The coordinates of the antenna are 5899218,117,9442321861! I'm alone and running out of food. I'm sending my log too.
    *END OF TRANSMISSION*

    The forum won't let me specify my gender accurately, so I'll just use my signature to say that I go by they/them pronouns.

  • I will be sending a rescue pod to you. It's unmanned, so Its controlling itself. I've already checked and fixed any flaws in the programming, so don't worry. It will fly back to my base so you can stay with me for a while. There's also a brand new teleporter inside it.


    --END MESSAGE--

  • Science Log, Stardate 187.30 after first attack.
    A few minutes ago a rescue pod with a message arrived. I'll install the teleporter in the facility and fill the pod with the most important untelportable devices. After I sent the rescue pod back, I will teleport the other devices to Leo17453. Then I will install a timer which will stop the reactors cooling after I teleported myself to my new friend's base. It's a bit sad that the facility will be destroyed, but I have no choice. At least I have the research results. Well, back to work!
    **END OF LOG ENTRY**

    The forum won't let me specify my gender accurately, so I'll just use my signature to say that I go by they/them pronouns.