Fun: Diary of the last survivors of the spambot apocalypse

Me: I hope they got the message...
Spambot: INITIATING SPAMBOT CONVERSION. ETA FOR IP CONVERSION: 7 HOURS. WE HOPE YOU ENJOY BEING WITH US, AND MAY THE GREAT KITCHEN LORD BE WITH US.
Me: *thoughts* wait, they ARE converting me into a spambot?! WTF!
Spambot 2: First phase, the replacement of the legs. For your safety, we will use anasthetic.
Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*asleep*

thepowdertoy: Open up forcefield landing sled!
*lands near the Everhill base*
thepowdertoy: Now we just need to connect this ship....
AI: What this ship is called?
thepowdertoy: NMinecraft-1 with A.G.H.A.N.I.M.S(A.L.B.L.A.K.A Gravisuit Hyperdrive ANd Impact Mining System) drive, which I will install later.
Now,let me use Liquiducts to move the fuel
AI: Initiating refueling..... Spambots incoming
thepowdertoy: Power up the fusion reactor and cover me while I install the A.G.H.A.N.I.M.S drive
*several minecraftia hours later*
thepowdertoy: Alright start the engine. We need to leave this base ASAP
AI: How this engine works?
thepowdertoy: Buy using gravisuit tech for gravitational wave propulsion powered with A.L.B.L.A.K.A cannon. Now power it up at 0.01%
*spaceship lurched forward*
AI: Detecting a transmission
Unknown: bzzt....kitchen kitchen.... crimping machine... ... chaos realm.....x:60bzttttt.. cannot jump... end....nether....battlegroup 12....Minecraftia..
thepowdertoy: Record that transmission
Unknown: bzzt..kitchen kitchen....transmission......Minecraftia......realm....dimension...nether.....!@#!)!__$!*!(#!$!$!!$@!T10a...spambot
thepowdertoy: Drive to the spambot universe. I need to try something new now
AI: What is that?
thepowdertoy: If this works no shield can block this weapon, only GregTech can

chaos:black holes?

servant: black hole what

chaos: if i duplicate the effects into a weapon. black holes rip spacetime itself and subspace bomb kinda do they same thing but they are really weak

Spambot: Your legs have been replaced, now to the arms.
Me: *thoughts* Positives of this horrid experience: I can finally be like Adam Jenson, from Deus Ex: Human Revolution! Downside: I'll be spamming kitchens from all sides of the universe if the Minecraftians don't hurry up.
Spambot: Applying anasthetic again in three.. Two.. One...
Me: Not again...*asleep*

Raider: Where's T10?

Chief: Good Question, but I am not the one to as. . .

AIV Treader: Captured. Recover?

Raider: Please do so. Now answer the question: Where is T10?

AIV Treader teleports and brings T10a to the hold: Here.

Raider: How did you find him, oh.

A fake spambot controlled by AIV Tracker appears.

Raider turns back to T10a: Well, it looks like we will have to take him back to Earth away from this mess and out of range for the respawn system so he can't be pulled back in and screwed with further. Hope he does not mind things looking round <looks around> because there are a lot of round things here and there.

*wakes up on Rock Raider's ship*
Me: Where the heck am I- Circle? Don't tell me I'm in the Circle Univere agai- Hey, it's Zulu!
Zulu: What the hell happened to you? Your legs are robotic and you have no arms!
Me: WTF?! They didn't finish off my arms? Cheeky bastards
Zulu: Actually, we teleported you out of there before they finished you off.
Me: Well, why are there circles here and there. Oh wait *looks closely* They ARE Circles. Well, turns out my phobia of circles only affects me in the shockingly realistic world.
Zulu: I. wasnt expecting that reaction...
Me: Last request: Could you please take me to a medical bay? So I can have my arms again?
Zulu: Funnily enough, we're heading to Earth again, s-
Me: What the hell is Earth? Minecraftia was our home, right?
Zulu: Well, if you forgot History class, some Minecraftians found a new planet, that they called Earth. Long story.
Me: Sounds ok.
Medical bot: Applying anasthetic.
Me: Not again... *Asleep*
Zulu: Put him in the medical tank, and leave him there until we get back to Earth, or you manage to give him arms.

AI: Detecting a lot of spambot ship coming here
thepowdertoy: Power up MFFS camouflage upgrade and prepare to launch ICBM tube 1-20. This is time for some beta testing
*ICBM launching*
*missile entering slipspace*
thepowdertoy: Now we just need to wait...
*playing do you believe in magic*
*all spambot ships mysteriously destroyed*
thepowdertoy: Nice, that new weapon works

As we approached the base, Quint was shot in the head and died instantly. His revival beacon was blown up by a grenade. That base was crawling with sniperbots. Nathan was crushed by a kitchen falling from the sky. The rest of us ran to the base, to get too close for the snipers. Jack was stabbed by an adf.ly link, electrocuting him. When we reached the base, the next thing I knew was a building crashing down on us.

---?? days later---
Wasmic: "What happened?"

Wraith: ++You were crushed. Your teleport beacon survived, though, so we could teleport you out and revive you."

Wasmic: ++Oh, that's why my heads hurt... Did any of the others survive?++

Wraith: ++No, and their beacons had been destroyed in various ways. You were the only survivor. What do you suggest we do with the base?++

Wasmic: ++There's too many spambots down there, and they had a counter-EMP. Nuke it from orbit.++

Wraith: ++We will do that.++

*Screen pops up and shows a tactical nuke being launched from an orbiting bomber*
*Nuke is shot down by spambot anti-missile laser*

Wraith: ++We were prepared for that. Fire the strategic nuke++

*100 megatons nuke is dropped*

Wraith: ++Their laser needs to recharge. The tactical nuke was just a decoy.++

*BIG BADA BOOOOOOOOOOM*

Wasmic: ++I heard there was a lot of turmoil around a space-rift. How did it end?++

Wraith: ++Mark IV spambots approached. Not too many of them, but their gravisuits were overclocked, so we couldn't lock an aim of them. Only because of my psi-implant, I was able to crush a bunch of them.++

Wasmic: ++Sounds bad. What were our losses?++

Wraith: ++A whole capital ship, and many smaller. We were able to revive all fallen warriors.++

Wasmic: ++Sounds bad too. Any status on the MK IV spambots?++

Wraith: ++Yes, they are on a large asteroid in th End. They killed the enderdragon in ten seconds.++

Wasmic: ++What do you say to a little special op? I can't do it alone. You wanna join me?++

chaos: we are nearly there. finishing what we started them many 1,000,000 years ago. i must switch places so i can be free

Quote from wasmic

As we approached the base, Quint was shot in the head and died instantly. His revival beacon was blown up by a grenade. That base was crawling with sniperbots. Nathan was crushed by a kitchen falling from the sky. The rest of us ran to the base, to get too close for the snipers. Jack was stabbed by an adf.ly link, electrocuting him. When we reached the base, the next thing I knew was a building crashing down on us.

---?? days later---
Wasmic: "What happened?"

Wraith: ++You were crushed. Your teleport beacon survived, though, so we could teleport you out and revive you."

Wasmic: ++Oh, that's why my heads hurt... Did any of the others survive?++

Wraith: ++No, and their beacons had been destroyed in various ways. You were the only survivor. What do you suggest we do with the base?++

Wasmic: ++There's too many spambots down there, and they had a counter-EMP. Nuke it from orbit.++

Wraith: ++We will do that.++

*Screen pops up and shows a tactical nuke being launched from an orbiting bomber*
*Nuke is shot down by spambot anti-missile laser*

Wraith: ++We were prepared for that. Fire the strategic nuke++

*100 megatons nuke is dropped*

Wraith: ++Their laser needs to recharge. The tactical nuke was just a decoy.++

*BIG BADA BOOOOOOOOOOM*

Wasmic: ++I heard there was a lot of turmoil around a space-rift. How did it end?++

Wraith: ++Mark IV spambots approached. Not too many of them, but their gravisuits were overclocked, so we couldn't lock an aim of them. Only because of my psi-implant, I was able to crush a bunch of them.++

Wasmic: ++Sounds bad. What were our losses?++

Wraith: ++A whole capital ship, and many smaller. We were able to revive all fallen warriors.++

Wasmic: ++Sounds bad too. Any status on the MK IV spambots?++

Wraith: ++Yes, they are on a large asteroid in th End. They killed the enderdragon in ten seconds.++

Wasmic: ++What do you say to a little special op? I can't do it alone. You wanna join me?++

Display More

Wraith: Yes I do. I shall gather my 10 primary specialists and head to the secondary teleport bay.

Wraith: ++Specialists, please report to the primary briefing room.++

Wraith: I have with me the ten.
I have a demolitions expert armed with plasma charges,
A sniper armed with a lance-rifle
3 Scouts armed with pulse carbines
An engineer with devices such as an orbital strike beacon and a electrikal wrench
and 4 soldiers armed with advanced teslastaffs and pulse rifles.

I also took the liberty of requisitioning 12 shielded teleportbeacons just in case something goes wrong.

Wasmic: Great! I am heading to the secondary teleport bay now. Are we taking a ship with us?

Wraith: Yes, the Stormfall. It is a Vervun-class light cruiser armed with pulsar lances. Just describe the target and I will be ready.

Incoming Transmission;
Chaoschamp:"..."
Mental Hospital Doctor:"Give me your "Phone"!"
*Takes the Phone*
Other Mental Hospital Doctor:"And you are sure that it is broken? I mean, nobody would help someone escaping from an mental hospita, but it is not good for the healing progress, if he can phone to other people."
Mental Hospital Doctor:" It looks like an wireless phone, becauseit is cut of perfect. But it is the phone from the phonstation, and it is broken...useless"
*Throws buggy interdimensional phone into the bin*
---Signal Lost---

thepowdertoy: Can you locate the source of chaoschamp signal?
AI: No, I think we need to go inside a spambot ship
thepowdertoy: Then lets do it
*ejecting escape pod*
*drifting slowly to a nearby spambot ship*
thepowdertoy: What class it is?
AI: Hose crimping class... Detecting slow radar ping
thepowdertoy: We should arrive at one of their comm array soon. After that I only have 2 minutes
*escape pod attached to one of their antenna*
thepowdertoy: Alright I will put a hyper advanced turtle here... Send your copy now!
AI: Sending.... Analyzing system... Overriding enviromental processors... Shutting down comm arrays... Alright now this ship is ours. Better start linking this ship with our ship
*going to our ship*
*Get the ship close to the spambot ship*
*build a connecting tunnel from spambot ship to NMinecraft-1, reinforced with advanced machine blocks
*Moving A.G.H.A.N.I.M.S drive to the ship link*
AI: Linking our power system... Data uplink... Now we can hack the spambot channel
thepowdertoy: Any sign of chaoschamp?
AI: We just need him to transmit again

Meanwhile on the moon:
Enderman Gunner:
"Commander, our forcefields get weak! We need more firepower!"

Enderman Commander:
"Get out the MK III cannons. And activate the RSP!"

*Giant hole opens*

*Ion- and Plasmacannons together with a mysterious other launcher are framed up*

Enderman Commander:
"Fire the RSP!"

*Plasmacannons near the mysterious thing are firering a hole in a big spambot ship*

*Myst. RMP fires red laser-like thing in the hole*

Suddenly, the spambot ship's lasers fire all at once and the spambotships engines start. Then, it crashs into another spambot-ship. Both explode in a giant firebal.

chaos: GET... MEEE A new form NOOWWW!!! this human form is too weak... THE PAIN.... this form is draining too much from me

spambot: shall i prepare the suit converter

chaos: YES

spambot: HE is nearly ready. the one your been waiting for.

chaos: we will need the energy from HIM to extract me from this form. i need to control there hive.

servant (enslaved human): the suite is ready.

chaos: BOOT THE SYSTEM UP!!!!!!

spambot: wait... somebody is tracing the signal

chaos: why would they. am in plain sight

Raider: Lupus, get your history straight. Minecraftia came after Earth.

Lupus: Sorry, dad.

Raider looks at a calendar. The date is January 18, 3084.

T10a: Wait, so Earth is older?

Raider: Yes. The world you are used was reformed into what it is today in the 26^th century. Now it is the thirty-first century.

AIV Medic 1: We have someone who's gone mad. Their matrix ID is chaoschamp.

Lupus: Bring him in before something bad happens.

The TMLC U-M (Tracked Mobile Laser Cutter Utility-Medic) telemounts (teleports on top and makes physical contact) Chaos and brings the insane ogranic back.

AI: Network locked in!!! chaoschamp is transmitting
thepowdertoy: Nice
*tracking system booting up*
thepowdertoy: Use GPS program to locate all spambot ship
AI: Unfortunately I cannot lock all the ship
thepowdertoy: Open all ICBM launch tube! Set fire control to all spambot ship! Use slipspace missile
AI: Firing in 3....2....1
*all ICBM launches*
*missiles entering slipspace*
thepowdertoy: They will be confused when nearly all their spambot ships mysteriously explodes!!!

chaos: MY NEW FORM. A MACHINE THAT HEALS ITSELF . apply this tech to the rest of the ship.

*SPACETIME RIFT OPENING*
*LARGE ENERGY BIO PRINT*

chaos: yes yes YES!!!!!! he is awaking. active the new HACKbots to protect him

AI: Detecting a spacetime rift at chaoschamp transmission!
thepowdertoy: He still alive? Alright now we know that the slipspace missile is inaccurate at long distance
AI: What do we do now?
thepowdertoy: ..................... We need to land on my old base and repair this ship
*several hours later*
thepowdertoy: This base has not been used for several months, let me connect this base power system with ship power system
*Linking power system with GregTech and Gravisuite superconductor cable*
thepowdertoy: Alright AI control that repair bot and start upgrading this ship

chaos: noobs dont know they are wasting ammo on a fake ship

HACKbot: SHALL I DATA PURGE THERE SYSTEMS

chaos:yes

*power down*
thepowdertoy: What happens?
AI: They are purging data from the spambot ship so I need to kill the reactors to stop it. Fortunately I still have some offline backup of the system
*cut the cable to comm array*
*activate signal jammer*
thepowdertoy: Alright restore the spambot ship to your backup and restart the reactors. Wait do a total data purge on both of the ship and restore from backup. My other ships has been hacked and destroyed multiple times and I don't want to destroy this ship