Fun: Diary of the last survivors of the spambot apocalypse

Day 292: A heavy is asking "who is not ready to fight robots ?". We're all waiting for this wave, wich is containing many boss. Blue robots are coming. The Voice say: "Protect the facilitie!". The Ultimate Spambot-Tech would apparently be able to disguise as a normal user. "Incoming spies!" . Too many scouts, too many pyros. May the Almighty Dragonlord activate an Übercharge. Here we are. The end.

>ai
Alert use AI at your own risk auth code aghanim
>aghanim
AI initiated

Thepowdertoy: Now tell me why you know spambots

AI: Direct to the point, eh? Anyway, long before your planet was invaded by the spambots, we do. We called it The Great Spambot War.

Thepowdertoy: How did it come?

AI: We do not know. What we do know is it was searching for a code repository, a huge one.

Thepowdertoy: Where is it?

AI: In your planet, Minecraftia. Exiting slipspace...now
*looks at Minecraftia*
Thepowdertoy: What will happen if the spambots enter the code repository

AI: The short version is, your planet as you know it, will be completely overrun by the spambots. Imagine the spambots getting force field that have the strength of the bedrock multiplied by 1000000000, yet it can absorb any energy, including projectile and use it to regenerate its field.

Thepowdertoy: Where is it?

AI: Let me remember.. Its below the GregTech tower. Unplug me from the computer and plug me to your quantum helmet and let me override your armor.

Thepowdertoy: Do it.
*steps to the teleporter and teleport to hangar*
AI: Use this space fighter instead of your ancient shuttle

Thepowdertoy: Wait... no. You said that you have a war with spambots? If then, we have a large probability that the spambots can detect thrusters emission and we will be busted. Power down this ship

AI: Alright, powering down this ship. Now lets go

I AM READY TO FIGHT ROBOTS!
(Self übercharges with Qsuit and Xycraft technology)
*pulls out Nanosaber and MiningRifle 9001*
LEEROY...JEEEEENNNNNKKKKIIIIIINNNNNSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!
*goes at over 9000 kilometres per nanosecond and breaks the laws of physics, therefore teleporting me to another universe*
Me: Where am I?
Spambot: WELCOME TO KITCHENVERSE. WE WANT YOUR WORLD AS YOURS IS MORE SUITABLE FOR TOTAL MULTIVERSAL DOMINATION.
Me: Thanks! *for helping the enemy!*
Spambot: You're welcome... Wait. DIE STEVEIAN SC-
*PEEEEEWWWW*
Me: Ok, in Xen, now what? OH MY NOTCH A SPAMBOTHEADCRAB! *Pulls out Railcraft Crowbar* Ready.
*owns a Zerg rush of SpambotHeadcrabs*
Me: That must be how they keep getting more spambots! They get a robot that kills off a host and controls the body, acting as infantry! I MUST WARN THE OTHERS! LEEROY...JEEEENNNKKKKIIINNSS!!!!! *Runs at over 9000 kilometres per nanosecond, but fails to escape the Kitchenverse* Oh crap. I'm stuck here. Hey... If those spambots can escape, maybe I can too!

---Beginning Transmission---
Hello, here is the everhill military base.
We got enough reinforcments to defend us and attack without problems. We have still some nuclear missiles, and we heard about an Spambot-Controlled Ship-Massfab earlier, and we would be able to attack the Massfab wizh the bots, and also some other Spamot-Areas.

Please keep away from sector 57-F, we detected much spambots and energy there, so much that we were able to detect it. There are even big masses of the new PopUp Ads, and we dont know what they do there, so please keep away there and inform us when you had a base there.
Everhill Military Base, we will stop the transmission now.
---Transmission Stopped---

---Beginning Transmission---
Hello, here is the everhill military base.
We got enough reinforcments to defend us and maybe even attack without problems. We have still some nuclear missiles, and we heard about an Spambot-Controlled Ship-Massfab earlier, and we would be able to attack the Massfab wizh the bots, and also some other Spamot-Areas.

Whoever transmited the last message,.please stop to go to other universes, that could bring unstability or other universes overwrite places in minecraftia, and spambotheadcrabs would make the situation more bad.

Please keep away from sector 57-F, we detected much spambots and energy there, so much that we were able to detect it. There are even big masses of the new PopUp Ads, and we dont know what they do there, so please keep away there and inform us when you had a base there.
Everhill Military Base, we will stop the transmission now.
---Transmission Stopped---

Releasing fighter screen and launching drop pods at minecraftia, coordinates X.2254-Z.112 X.117-Z.1339

Human soldiers are doing battle with spambots at the area known as "Evenhill military base." I do believe that a carefully formatted computer virus could destroy a large amount of bots. I will began to use these human, but rather advanced "gregtech supercomputers" to write the code.

++Launching Vortex torpedoes at sector 57-f...++
++Launch confirmed++

----Beginning Transmission---

WE'RE GOING DOWN

----End of transmission----

***TRANSMISSION FROM HIJACKED KITCHENVERSE TERMINAL***

Does this damn thing transmit through to the Minecraftian Universe? Yes! YES! *beep boop*

TO ALL MINECRAFTERS, HUMAN AND UNHUMAN, I HAVE FOUND THE UNIVERSE WHERE SPAMBOTS ORIGINATE. ACTIVATE WORMHOLE DRIVES, AND WARP TO POINT X: 128,000,000 Y: 9001 Z: -128,000,000 IN AGE 9001. OVER.

(PS. Pick me up when you arrive pl0x. This dimension is FUBAR)

*at GregTech tower*

AI: Go to the bedrock level and insert me to a terminal

Thepowdertoy: Wait, bedrock? I thought we will destroy GregT computer core

AI: No. The repository is located below the bedrock level

*Thepowdertoy inserts AI to terminal*
*some bedrock disappear, revealing a tunnel*
*intercepts a transmission*

Thepowdertoy: Can you locate the sender?

AI: Cannot. Go faster! I think in the code repository there is a small supercomputer and a superluminal communicator

*plugs AI to another terminal*

AI : Downloading and analyzing transmission.... Get it! It says he already get the spambots home universe! Anyway plant the nuke and we will use teleporter to teleport our way to the ship

Thepowdertoy: Can you get to my bouncer network? Auth code scepter

AI: Doing it... Connected!

Thepowdertoy: Access Project Zangetsu classification level ultra top secret UUMATTER ALPHA DELTA CHARLIE 165345531561999999994638883141

AI: That's one long name... O I see you have another ship that is 5 km in length

Thepowdertoy: Send the coord to all the ships, including yours

AI: Sending... There is another AI just connecting in the system! They are happy and responding
*steps into the teleporter and teleported to the alien ship*
*jump into coord*

AI: Detecting a lot of spambots activities! External sensors overloaded

Thepowdertoy: Prepare to fight!

*Picks up T10a*

---Beginning Transmission---
Hello, here is everhill.
We just got the transmission about the spambots universe, and we could attack places with bombing and infantry, but only some. Maybe you could send us the coods of their spam-matrons(spambot-producing things) and their teleporting enigne, and of course a way to get there. Hopefully, they havent got too much things there, because we dont want to use soldiers there, the best way to attacking is a freeman or planned nuclear attacks.
BTW, we have got a secret special supersecret bomb with a big exsplosion, or something else, but we dont know who builded it, so we dont know the effect of it, but we could use it together with other exsplosives on big spammbotterys.

Dropping into lower atmosphere...
Domes depressurized. Allowing natural air to flow in.
It is confirmed that sector 57-F, as requested by the human army, is wiped off the face of the universe.
++It is interesting how one reverts to such primitive methods of communication++
++logged for further study++
++Sending transmission to human starship designated as Arcturias class... Overriding transmission blockers...++
Transmission log
++Hello human. I am Althidicroun. I have studied all of my star charts and I know that if I do not take action the spambots will overrun glorious Thelcontir with their advertisments.
I have brought but one phoenix-class battle-cruiser, but it is quite sufficient to wipe every lifeform off this planet. I am offering my army of glorious soldiers to fight them.
However, remember this. I fight not for you, but against the spambots.++
Transmission end.

The air raid alarm sounded. Just as it had done nearly every day. A stream of soldiers and civilians hurried to the bunkers. The last people got in, and the bunkers were sealed. Ten seconds later, the ground shook around us. At least the spambots hadn't started to use bunker-buster-bombs yet, but it couldn't be long before they would. The all-clear was sounded, and we streamed out to prepare for the attack that we knew would come soon. But this time was different.

"I'm out!" someone shouted close to me. A "GET DOWN" was heard over the noise, and I jumped to the ground, along with many others. I had been issued squad command. My squad was of fifteen soldiers, including me. The rocket that had been warned of swooshed half a meter over our heads. "We have to man the defenses before they destroy them! Come with me, Omega-16!". Omega was the designation for the assault squads, but right now, an assault was impossible. "Spambots left in area: 19389", the speakers said.
We started forward, towards the wall that both sides tried to take control over. I don't know how, but somehow those basterds managed to take out our guards on the fortress wall. We reached the wall, and were temporarily safe. But we had to get on top of it - right where we would be easy to shoot. I ran up the stairs, and waved for the others to go with me. I poked my head above the wall, and got hit by some sort of rocket. Next thing i knew, i had that surge in the stomach - the one you get when portaling to another dimension. But this wasn't the Nether. And it wasn't the End.

It was dark, cold. I could see, but it was dark. I was in a cave. I placed a torch, and saw that the stone was nearly black. I fired my mining laser at the wall of the tunnel, and it breached out into... somewhere. I went through the tunnel, and came out in another cave. A much larger cave. It looked just like a nether-cave, but it was much darker, and there was no lava. It was just dry. Some fire was burning, but it was a cold fire that burned black and blue. I walked over to one of the flames, and felt the coldness surround me. I was hit by something in the back, and that something blew up. As i lay there on the ground, I saw some weird creatures flying around - they looked like blazes, but burned with the black fire. I felt a weird, unpleasant sensation inside of me, and hurried back into the cave I came from. I scanned myself with my medkit, and a few seconds later, a word appeared on its screen. Withering.

I started a cellular scan, and an electronical voice said: "Subject scan completed. Warning: Subject withering. Warning: Virus activity detected. Virus is boosting cellular regeneration. Warning: Subjects cells wither away faster than they regenerate. Activating nanite healing mechanism. Warning: Subject still withering faster than regenerating. Warning: Subject cannot be saved without immediate advanced healing. This device is incapable of advanced healing. Aborting nanite healing mechanism."

I sat there on the floor of a cave, in a dimension, having no idea of how to escape. And i withered. And after an hour, it stopped. I was alive. But i was withered. I looked down. My legs were gone. I had turned into a wither. But not quite. I still had arms. Then i realized it - I could see properly now. I could still see that it was dark, but now i could see what was in the dark. Filled with a new determination to escape this dimension, I went out into the big cave again. I was hit by one of those cold blazes again, but this time it didn't really affect me. I turned to face it. I had a sudden urge to do... something, i didn't really know what, but i did it. And the rightmost of my heads was launched, and as it hit the blaze, it exploded. I went over to the place that the blaze had died, and some blue rods lay on the ground. I picked them up, and as i looked up, i saw a glow, coming from the top of a floating island. I wanted to see what i was, but i had no blocks on me to build up to the floating island. I just wanted to go up there. Then i thought: "What if..."
And a second later, i was floating up towards the floating island, and on top of it was a portal. I entered the portal, and a second later i floated out of another. I was back in the overworld, but where was I?

------INITIATE TRANSMISSION------
Wasmic: This is Wasmic calling Frostbite outpost. I need a ride from coordinates x12075 z-9027 to command center Greenfield. Please send an evac, and if you can't, just send me the coordinates.
Frostbite: Copy that. Evac on it's way.
------ABORT TRANSMISSION------

---Begunning Transmission---
Here is everhill

We need some kind of help, the spambot attacks are getting stronger, and some of our quantumed troops got away by a mysterious stone rain thinging. If someone could keep the bots away from is some days, we would be able to make the bunkers deeper and save us from the air attacks. In addition, we would be able to rebuild our defenses and make our advanced systems(MFFS and missile defend systems)ready.
They are coming again please he...*EXSPLODING THING*
---Signal Lost---

++Ugh... More of the humans need help. I am firing drop pods at sector the humans call "Evenhill military base."++
++Transmission to Evenhill- I have dropped wraithlord heavy exoskeletons and soul-fire assault robots approximately 1 metre inside your outside wall. You may use these when ready.++

I was back Greenfield military base, being scanned and probed and a lot of things, and after a few hours of this, the doctors found out wht had happened: The virus that infected me had saved my life by making my cells regenerate rapidly, and then something unexplained happened, turning me into a sort-of wither. The differences are that i cannot launch my middle head, and that i have arms. I also am nowhere near as durable as the "real" wither - I only have around a sixth of the durability, though that still means that I am around five times as durable as a normal human.

I later recieved a medal, for displaying exceptional courage and using myself as a shield for a barrack, which would else have been hit by the rocket. I didn't even know that the rocket was coming, but i didn't tell them.

That evening, we were ordered outside. My squad, along with 11 other, was ordered to the Everhill base, where we should help defending while they fortified themselves. We moved out, 165 men - fifteen had died that day, and the generators had been sabotaged, so that we couldn't revive them yet.

A few hours later, we arrived at Everhill. And it was being attacked by at least 30000 spambots. command was issued over radio: "Fire at will". So we did. I think we might have killed thousand before they even noticed us. But they noticed us. And then half the swarm stormed us. 12000vs 165. That was never a fair fight. I think we might each have killed a fifty robots, but they were just too many.

To be continued, gotta close down now...

++Hmmm... It appears that I may have to land somewhere. It is a problem finding a spot for a 5 kilometer long ship to land though...++
++Sending transmission to everhill military base... Overriding transmission blockers...
TRANSMISSION LOG:
Do you need reinforcement? All I need is your teleporter codes and I will began deploying soulfire robots.

---Transmission to EnderWraithGuard(Coded)----
We are attacked by 20,000 Spambots, and there might come more. We are at /#5)',27!@?()2, coded with code 3E.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

165 were attacked by 12000 spambots.
Man, how i love GregTech right now...

I got a completely mad idea, that could just as well have done nothing at all. I brought forth a lapotronic energyorb that i had carried for around a month now. I threw it in between all of the spambots.
Oh, how i love ElectroMagnetic Pulses.

At least 9001 spambots shut down in an instant. The morale of the soldiers rose. And we kicked some major spambot ass. The 12000 spambots that had gone after us were soon destroyed - they might be many, but they are extremely bad at aiming. And most of them only had melee weapons. 12000 were down, and the Everhill garrison started fighting back. After five minutes, some droppods fell down from the sky. And a minute later, soldiers in exoskeletons streamed out, killing any bots in their path. The attack had been stopped. The all-clear was sounded.

Of the 165 soldiers that came from Greenfield, 50 were dead. I planted beacons on them, and saw as they were teleported back to base for revival.

After that, we went into Everhill's bunkers for the night. They had been dug very deep by now.

------INITIATE TRANSMISSION------
Wasmic: This is squad leader Wasmic. Everhill has been secured. Also reporting that some alien known as EnderWraithGuard is helping in the war against the spambots.
Greenfield: Copy that. We've just recieved reinforcements, and all soldiers have been revived. Our missiles are ready, but we have sighted some kitchens rolling across the desert, headed in our direction. We are teleporting you back to base tomorrow at 4 PM.
Wasmic: Copy that. Notifying the other squads.
------ABORT TRANSMISSION------

That night went by without anything unexpected happening. We did have to kill a few spybots, but that was expected.

After a good nights sleep, I was sent out on a scouting mission with a little squad. We got ambushed, but we managed to fend them off. Just after that, a Hose Crimping/Swaging class aircraft flew just over head. I instinctually fired my right and left head at it, and luckily hit the pilot with one of them. After a few seconds, he was withered away, and the aircraft crashed. We then hightailed back to base.