the ICforums bestiary/encyclopedia

  • i present for your reading pleasure a tounge in cheek guide to every kind of user you will find on these forums that I find it worth writing about
    SO LETS GET STARTED :D


    1. the nerfer
    A personal favorite of mine the nerfer is a rare beast that usually pops up shortly after updates. These creatures at their best enjoy challenging and immersive gameplay and at thier worst seek to force this style of gameplay upon others to gain the advantage in competitive environments. With the increasing popularity of realistic games it is a total mystery as to why nerfers are so rare, but what ever the answer is we are sure the slumbering waffle loving beast that lurks these forums has nothing to do with it :whistling: . On a totally unrelated note ground nerfers make great waffles :D


    2. the n00b
    not to be confused with noobs, newbies, and new users. n00bs are a special creature know for thier short life spans and general lack of communication skills, brain cells, or manners. the best time to find n00bs is just after minecraft updates around this time you can see them in mass saying things like "when will IC update to mc x.x.x?", "when is IC2 x.xx coming out?", "plz update", "Y U NO UPDATE!", "CAN'T U UPDATE FASTER $&#@*!@$&*%!", "U SHOULD ADDZ A LIGHTNING ROD :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup: ". the resulting torrent of brain droppings brings the almighty dragon lord from its hiding place to feed, and soon the horde is scattered and order is restored. (though the place smells like electrocuted n00b for a few weeks afterwards)


    3. the spambot
    a evil creature from the darkest depths of the internet. do not respond to their lures! report them to the almighty dragon lord immediately


    4. the tin pincher
    a curious beast the tin pincher is known for most notably hording large amounts of the most common metal in industrial craft and never willingly doing any thing with it this behavior leads us to theorize that tin pinchers are some sort of sissy minor dragon due to their obsession with shiny metal objects. perhaps it is some sort of hierarchy that dragons have :huh: ? what ever the case they will do anything to save an ingot of tin but pose no real threat.


    5. the generator clans
    5a. the clan of nuclear scientists
    a relatively peaceful creature they are known for designing and building nuclear reactors most notably CASUCs they enjoy the challenge of pushing their reactors to the limit in the name of science and uumatter. but do not provoke them for many of them know the secret nuke tnt recipe :Nuke TNT:


    5b. the solar spammer clan
    the closest thing nerfers and nuclear scientists have to a mortal enemy. the solar spammer has but 1 goal in mind. to build a massive solar farm no matter the cost, no matter the lag, no matter the rules, no matter every road block that is placed in their path they will seek a way to build a power source that they can walk away from and will defend what they consider their right to do so. it is from the exchanges between the nerfers and the solar spammers that we have learned that one of the quickest way to start a flame war on the ic2 forums is to say "this generator is OP!"


    5c the clan of geo-gen advocates
    whenever there is a generator flamewar they will be there to quickly exclaim that the best and simplest way to get large amounts of power is to travel to the nether and pump out the lava ocean. supporting our dragon theory many geo-gen advocates are also tin pinchers(dragons like lava right?) and would rater pump the lave directly in to their generators rather than spend a tin cell.


    5d the windnut clan
    jealous of the popularity of solar power the members of the wind nut clan are always quick to tout the strengths of wind power and attempt to teach the solar spammers how to use wind to its greatest effectiveness. the solar spammers mostly ignore them because they don't want to stress to many brain cells with the height calculations


    5e the clan of generator prime
    all have belonged to this clan if only for long enough to throw the generator back into the crafting table to craft a different one. those who stick around are few in number and tout the strength of superfuel. need less to say there are no tin pinchers among them.


    5f the watermill clan
    they claim the watermill is the best generator because of its constant out put aside from that they are kinda boring


    6. the 1k club (still accepting better names)
    6a. the almighty dragon lord (a.k.a. Alblaka)
    ruler of the forums the almighty dragon lord likes to eat n00bs cooked on a lighting rod, and for users to click the donation button. he also enjoys lightning rod skeet shooting with his trusty shotgun, and has awesome ninja reality warping powers that everyone loves


    6b. the resident certifed asshole (a.k.a. FenixR)
    CROYKEY! THIS IS AN ORNERY ONE HERE! AAHHHH!!... what you just heard is the final moments of one of our interns that got to close to this legendary creature or at least you wish this one was only a legend, but no it is very real. Some theorize that it is the only known nerfer to escape the lurkers waffle iron(those theories are total nonsense of course). It is a creature know for its brutal honesty and rudeness when it encounters posts that do not live up to its standards. It will tell you what it thinks, deconstruct your arguments, and not give a damn about your feelings or anything else. those who wish to post any thing that maybe OP are advised to hide and and pray it doesn't find you if it shows up in your suggestion thread.


    6c. the Lurker (a.k.a. passinglurker)
    A noble waffle eating Creature, which analyzes the Forum and can make fun out of everything, that is presuggested or n00bish. The Lurkers favorite Food are nerfers, who were embatted in Waffledough and then baked by 2000°K in a Nuclearrreactor. Most of the Time, he is slumbers right before a nerfer suggests something stupid, in this case you will hear a loud hulky voice jelling: "WHO DISTURBS MY SLUMBER!!!" followed by a Scoringsystem for repeated Suggestions. If you are not so stupid, then he will just welcome you to the Forums.


    6d. the enderdragoon (a.k.a. RichardG)
    the almighty dragon lord's mysterious righthand man and with the almighty dragon lord has had a hand in shaping the universe as we know it. it can often be spotted in the support forums giving advice and support to new users. and can also rarely be found in the suggestion forum delivering a barrage of one liners.


    6e. captain grammar (a.k.a. GregoriusT)
    the forums grammar cop speak clearly or face his wrath. also once know for commenting on almost every suggestion and posting many suggestions himself this local now enjoys a leisurely retirement of spam bot hunting, and grammar enforcement.

    7. The Exploiter
    If there is a complex mod, there are intelligent people. If there is a mechanic and intelligent people, there are possibilities to exploit these mechanics.
    The Exploiters main goal is to figure out just that little niche someone didn't consider, creating perpetuum-mobiles, ridicolous UUM-conversions and other things which justs aren't meant to happen.
    Often smiled upon and congratulated to his newest find, the exploiter yet is known to be one of the arch enemey of all mod developers, giving his tendancy to mess up just whatever they implemented, forcing them to redo it in the most secure way possible... just for him to find another loophole.


    8. the todo list
    this is a true legend mentioned every where but never seen by the common user. rumors as to its contents vary from a simple list of suggestions that alblaka has approved of to a complete development roadmap with planed improvements and release dates calculated down to the second. some even doubt that it exists at all, but we may never know the truth lest one breaks IC forum commandment #1 THOU SHALT NOT ASK FOR A RELEASE DATE!


    9. the beta testers
    a chosen few only a step below the Pantheon of Dev-Gods. this is a position all aspire to (able to play the latest version early, and has half an idea when the release date is! who wouldn't want that!) but few qualify for. these brave pioneers of the unknown forge a trail through a sea bugs and game breaking exploits so thick it would make the common n00b rage quit(or cry tears of joy in the case of exploits). research into their behaviors and identities are still on going


    10.the eternal technic flamewar
    An endless conflict spurred on by conflicting interpretations of intellectual property law and the moral questions that come with it. This conflict while probably not as old is definitely as intense as the eternal ninja vs. pirate debate. in this case many of the non-Technic users(ninjas) who installed the mods the conventional way look down upon the Technic users(pirates) as nothing more than a derp happy band of n00bish pests that need to be eliminated (and in the non-Technic users defense Technic's ease of installation means that many of them are derpy n00bs) while the Technic users seek to be accepted while still having fun with their Technic using friends that already accept them. This war has been waged for ages with no sign of stopping. Any time technic is brought up some one feels inclined to state that it is morally wrong to use technic in the strongest language possible there by motivating the technic users to defend them selves, or attack back, and before you know it they are throwing memes and wall-o-texts at each other till the thread is locked.


    anyone/thing else that is note worthy?

    true balance is impossible in video games the best one can hope for is to make it really hard to guess which of 2 choices are better.
    and remember kids "NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF JOKES!"

    Edited once, last by passinglurker ().

    • Official Post

    You may forgot him:


    9. the (passing) Lurker
    A waffleeating Creature, which analyzes the Forum and makes fun out of everything, what is presuggested or n00bish. The Lurkers favorite Food are nerfers, who were embatted in Waffledough and then baked by 2000°K in a Nuclearrreactor. Most of the Time, he is sleeping right before a N00b suggests something stupid or again or both, in this case you will hear a loud hulky voice jelling: "WHO DISTURBS MY SLUMBER!!!" followed by a Scoringsystem for repeated Suggestions. If you are not so stupid, then he will just welcome you to the Forums (very rarely).

  • You may forgot him:


    9. the (passing) Lurker
    A waffleeating Creature, which analyzes the Forum and makes fun out of everything, what is presuggested or n00bish. The Lurkers favorite Food are nerfers, who were embatted in Waffledough and then baked by 2000°K in a Nuclearrreactor. Most of the Time, he is sleeping right before a N00b suggests something stupid or again or both, in this case you will hear a loud hulky voice jelling: "WHO DISTURBS MY SLUMBER!!!" followed by a Scoringsystem for repeated Suggestions. If you are not so stupid, then he will just welcome you to the Forums (very rarely).

    i excluded my self due to possible bias but since you went out of your way to make this ill add it to the top post if you like :D . also i wouldn't say "makes fun of" i would say "finds the fun in" and i only shout that when a obvious nerf is posted not every less than intelligent post. but like i said i didn't do one of myself because i might sugar coat it :P

    true balance is impossible in video games the best one can hope for is to make it really hard to guess which of 2 choices are better.
    and remember kids "NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF JOKES!"

    • Official Post

    AmDlMddr is amused by this :3


    How about adding:
    10. The Exploiter
    If there is a complex mod, there are intelligent people. If there is a mechanic and intelligent people, there are possibilities to exploit these mechanics.
    The Exploiters main goal is to figure out just that little niche someone didn't consider, creating perpetuum-mobiles, ridicolous UUM-conversions and other things which justs aren't meant to happen.
    Often smiled upon and congratulated to his newest find, the exploiter yet is known to be one of the arch enemey of all mod developers, giving his tendancy to mess up just whatever they implemented, forcing them to redo it in the most secure way possible... just for him to find another loophole.

    • Official Post

    AmDlMddr is amused by this :3


    How about adding:
    10. The Exploiter
    If there is a complex mod, there are intelligent people. If there is a mechanic and intelligent people, there are possibilities to exploit these mechanics.
    The Exploiters main goal is to figure out just that little niche someone didn't consider, creating perpetuum-mobiles, ridicolous UUM-conversions and other things which justs aren't meant to happen.
    Often smiled upon and congratulated to his newest find, the exploiter yet is known to be one of the arch enemey of all mod developers, giving his tendancy to mess up just whatever they implemented, forcing them to redo it in the most secure way possible... just for him to find another loophole.

    Yeah, i'm the archenemy of Pahimar. :D



    Exploits are only used in the Laboratory of my Modtestworld, because they are too cheaty for me.

  • added the 1000+ club and the generator clans to the top post

    true balance is impossible in video games the best one can hope for is to make it really hard to guess which of 2 choices are better.
    and remember kids "NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF JOKES!"

  • The legend of the asshole needs to be grander... But thats just my opinion.

    yeah that one was kinda WIP fixed now

    true balance is impossible in video games the best one can hope for is to make it really hard to guess which of 2 choices are better.
    and remember kids "NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF JOKES!"

  • Two things:
    1000+ Clan should be called the 1k clan (Cooler).
    Two: Another notable Group:


    The Flame-the-Flamer


    The Flame-The-Flamer is a rare creature that have all but gone into hiding from the large abuse and losing arguments with The Asshole. They tend to make multiple accounts and post pictures that are completely irrelevant, after having repeat-suggestioned something with their multiple accounts. Have also been seen saying f--- you to almost everyone.
    I'll finish this later...
    EDIT: Maybe not...

    Haikus are poems

    They don't always make sense

    Potato

  • 1k club accepted for sake of efficient communication also changed greg's entry to "captain grammar"(would grammar nazi be considered offensive?)


    as for flame-the-flamer i don't this its distinguishable enough from the n00bs to get its own entry we have like only 2 cases tops

    true balance is impossible in video games the best one can hope for is to make it really hard to guess which of 2 choices are better.
    and remember kids "NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF JOKES!"

    • Official Post

    also changed greg's entry to "captain grammar"(would grammar nazi be considered offensive?)

    Lol yes, sometimes i'm grammarnaziing, but only if its really ununderstandable, right after submitting a Post i find mostlikely a tiny grammarfail in it, and immedietly edit it away.


    Captain Grammar sounds good, but my Grammar is not good enough, to be a full Grammarnazi, so Grammarnazis would find it offensive, that you add me to them. Sometimes i'm even taking the Job of Captain Obvious, including the *breaks through Wall*-Part sometimes (actually not happened in the IC²-Forum but on Youtube).

    • Official Post

    Give him mod post editing power? Lul.


    On a side note, how the fudge do you keep getting more and more post greg? Lol. One of these days you are going to have more than al.

    Because of people like you, asking such obvious Questions. Oh and boringness, which cant be used to play Minecraft, because of me being at university, like now.


    Posteditingpower? You will regret it.

  • 1k club accepted for sake of efficient communication also changed greg's entry to "captain grammar"(would grammar nazi be considered offensive?)


    as for flame-the-flamer i don't this its distinguishable enough from the n00bs to get its own entry we have like only 2 cases tops

    Yeah... but I thought the "You're f---ing gay" picture to be hilarious...

    Haikus are poems

    They don't always make sense

    Potato

  • The Beta tester?
    A rare creature created to hunt down the few faults our Alblaka/team makes?

    Quote

    Buildcraft – spilling items.™

  • One suggestion - revise "nerfer" to "collectivist", as the prime motivation of your average, vocal, nerfer is probably not to make the game more difficult for their own sake, but to force their beliefs on others consent be damned. Considering that if they only wanted the game to be harder, they just wouldnt use the [insert OP machine/method here] themselves, one can postulate that their motivations are based on a lust for power and control. Worse yet, some collectivists are so dogmatic that they will actually INSULT people who don't believe their ideas are the be-all end-all of all discussion on the topic.


    It's truly a crazy world when people dump so much raw emotion into mere computer games while banksters and psychoticians systematically turn those same people into debt-serfs. Me thinks that people would rather focus on the enemy they can see as opposed to the one they cant, no matter how petty the conflict or how steep the opportunity cost of not addressing the latter.

  • One suggestion - revise "nerfer" to "collectivist", as the prime motivation of your average, vocal, nerfer is probably not to make the game more difficult for their own sake, but to force their beliefs on others consent be damned. Considering that if they only wanted the game to be harder, they just wouldnt use the [insert OP machine/method here] themselves, one can postulate that their motivations are based on a lust for power and control. Worse yet, some collectivists are so dogmatic that they will actually INSULT people who don't believe their ideas are the be-all end-all of all discussion on the topic.


    It's truly a crazy world when people dump so much raw emotion into mere computer games while banksters and psychoticians systematically turn those same people into debt-serfs. Me thinks that people would rather focus on the enemy they can see as opposed to the one they cant, no matter how petty the conflict or how steep the opportunity cost of not addressing the latter.

    so am i correct in assuming that pvp servers attract nerfers like moths to a flame?


    added an unfinished entry on beta testers

    true balance is impossible in video games the best one can hope for is to make it really hard to guess which of 2 choices are better.
    and remember kids "NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF JOKES!"