Fun: Diary of the last survivors of the spambot apocalypse

After almost 200 days, this war is becoming silent. Only 1 spambot outpost remains. In the end, this war has been won by us. Now, we can finally live in peace.

--Terminator theme song plays--

--BEGIN MESSAGE--
GregT, you have been absent lately. Is your plan finished yet?
--SENDING MESSAGE--
--MESSAGE SENT--

***CODED TRANSMISSION TO GREGTECH INTERGALACTICAL***
Hello, GregoriusT. We, and the other survivors have created the Minecraftia Emergency Relief Group to help restore Minecraftia to the way it was prior to the Spambots. We have started by creating a temporary military force surrounding East City, and engineers have already begun work on a temporary Waterbucket-with RP2 tubes generators for important locations.
We wish you luck in helping us all, not just the MEFG restore Minecraftia to it's glory prior to the First Spambot War. (First because we are expecting more spambots soon.)
***END OF CODED TRANSMISSION***

<Five large and very old spacecrafts and one large and old spacecraft arrive in response to a distress call relayed by a very old drone. The L.M.S. Explorer, a mining exploration vessel, the R.U.U. Explorer, a much younger "sibling" to the LMS, and four crewless spaceborn battleships, the USAFAIS (United States Air Force Artificially Intelligent Ships) America, Freedom Fighter, Restorer, and Rescuer, serving as escorts to the unarmed Explorers. They bring with them other artificially intelligent vehicles, weapons, 2000 men, and, of course, mining equipment. Upon seeing the mess the spambots made and confimation of others still being functional, the captain of the L.M.S. Explorer orders an interplanetary broadcast to be prepared should the need arise. One of the shuttle units (AIOV-356, guess what AIOV means) tends to the distress call.>

Broadcast:

This is the captain of the L.M.S. Explorer.

All inhabitants of MC-324A, MC-324B, MC-532A, MC534C have one week (168 hours) to harden their equipment against electromagnetic attack, shut down any and all reactors, and prepare for cleanup operations

I repeat: All inhabitants of MC-324A, MC-324B, MC-532A, MC534C have one week (168 hours) to harden their equipment against electromagnetic attack, shut down any and all reactors, and prepare for cleanup operations.

{Yes, I am implying that I will seek help from outside the forum on the matter.}

==========START REPORT===========
Hello, any survivor of the great Spambot War. I was I my industry, preparing to turn my drills directly into the nucleus of Minecraftia, for generating Energy Unities and helping GregTech Intergalatical.
When it was my turn RP / Control Computer, a thing of the matrix-type virus infected
my computer and the thing that looks like a flashing underline appeared and my text input stopped working. The wiring was checked two times. After that, a spam bot appeared behind me. This marks the the begining OF AN NEW WAR! My teleporter saved me. I'm trying to contact GregoriusT, then we'll contact the rest of the survivors and make a council of war.
==========END OF REPORT======
======MESSAGE TO THE CAPITAIN OF L.M.S Explorer========
My is off, the EMPDefencethingy is on, and High-Voltage solars and my Geothermalarrything is running and at fullpower now
PS: It is cool to speak like Greg!
There are QuantumSuits at my .
WHO WANT A QUANTUM?!
===============================================END====

Meanwhile on the bridge of the LMS:

Chief (Captain as of 2984): Raider, we have received a report of a bot appearing, ready the BusSats?

Raider (Lead Civil Defense Officer): Yes, get them deployed, send the OFFICIAL warning.

Chief: Official warning?

Raider: Yes, (ugs while facepalming and shaking head) official warning. Appearently, someone mistook the standby warning on the systems' forum as the actual warning.

Radio Officer: The prerecorded messenge is loaded and ready. Send it?

Chief: Send it.

Wolf (Current pilot of OV-201 Pathfinder II, currently docked and loaded with BusSat I and BusSat II, each with six thermonuclear warheads): (Over radio) Are we deploying?

Radio Officer: We are deploying. Hey, wasn't it a nuke that forced your buds to replace almost all of you body with that of a dog?

Wolf: Coyote. Killed by over pressure from a conventional weapon. Don't even ask what what I had to do to even get this hominid morphology.

Radio Officer: What?

Chief: You two can talk later. Send the messenge and get those satellites into orbit.

Radio Officer: Sending messenge, geez. (Types send into command line.)

Broadcast:

This is the captain of the L.M.S. Explorer.

All inhabitants of MC-324A, MC-324B, MC-532A, MC534C have one week (168 hours) to harden their equipment against electromagnetic attack, shut down any and all reactors, and prepare for cleanup operations

I repeat: All inhabitants of MC-324A, MC-324B, MC-532A, MC534C have one week (168 hours) to harden their equipment against electromagnetic attack, shut down any and all reactors, and prepare for cleanup operations.

(Wolf pulls Pathfinder away, deploys BusSat I, and docks with the Rescuer for a jump to the next planet.)

Wolf: Let us just say it was one of few "sanctioned" musU.S.E.s.

Radio Officer: (Eyes Widen) You used the Universe Simulation Experiment? (Ponders) Is that thing still working since you used it, after all it was a little more than a thousand years since that...

Raider: (Growls loudly)

Radio Officer: Shutting up.

Chief: (Snickers)

Meanwhile, in the ruins of the Central City...

Officer: Captain T10a, we received word of a new wave of Spambots!
Me: WHAT???!!!?!? IMPOSSIBLE!
Officer: I am not kidding, we need to shut down everything all electronic devices and generators, we have an incoming electromagnetic attack from the L.M.S. Explorer to hopefully rid the world of Spambots.
Me: Ok, I'll send the message. *broadcasts a message to all members of the MERG*

\\\\\\EMERGENCY TRANSMISSION TO ALL MERG MEMBERS//////

We have detected a large number of spambots from an unknown position. I, T10a,
am employing a code Madagascar, which means SHUT DOWN ALL REACTORS, AND HARDEN ALL DEVICES AGAINST ELECTROMAGNETIC ATTACK.
This is not a drill, I repeat, THIS IS NOT A DRILL! We will be under attack from electromagnetic attack to hopefully rid the spambots from Minecraftia.
T10a out.
*bzzt*
\\\\\\TRANSMISSION END//////

Another officer: Tee-Tenant, we have word of-
Me: It's pronounced T-10a, officer.
Another officer: My apologies, C-3P0-
Me: *facepalms* IT IS PRONOUNCED T10a NOOB
Another officer: My apologies, Three-
*PEW*
Me: Had enough of him. Ok, I'll go help out the team. *I walk out from my shelter, and shout unheard orders to my colleagues*

========SATRTING 512 BITS ENCRYPTION=
END
========STARTING SC TO T10a=
FAILED
========STARTING SC TO GREGORIUST=
CONNECTED.
=======SENDING=
Me:Greg, can you help me here?
Greg:As?
Me:SC me with T10a.
Greg:O.K.
Greg:GregTower SC Server pass is *****
=======GREG-ID:20 CLOSED SC=
=======TRYING TO SC TO T10a=
=======USING SEVER:GregTower SC Server=
PASS:*****
=======CONNECTED====
Me: T10a! I have MFFS Systems!
Me: That can help us?
T10a:Yes! What is your Teleporter Frequency?
=====512-START:10-5988547:512-END=
END
Diary of QwertyBR.
Page #661
I am at my shelter, trying to develop a kind of system which can SC all the team at once.
The last time i did this, my MineOS PC freezed, then catch on fire.
QwertyBR leaving.

Hmm... I wonder what happens when I jump with my new HazMatSuit... *jumps**bounces into space* IT BREAKS THE LAWS OF THERMODYNAMICS!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
Meanwhile, at the L.M.S. Explorer
Chief: Do you hear that?
Someone else: What?
Chief: It sounds like a scream... From outside.
Someone else: That's impossible, outside is space. And because of the vacuum, there's no sound in space.
Chief: Don't talk to me like I was an infant.
I don't now: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT SEEMS LIKE THIS SUIT CAN ALSO BREAK THE LAWS OF ACOUSTICS!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *pierces through spaceship, disarming it*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Chief: Activate emergency force fields! I need a damage report! Radio officer, send a warning to everyone in the sector!

Switching focus to I don't now again
I don't now: It was a bad idea to extract the rubber that often that long with that many overclockers. Hey, is that a spaceship? *bounces off the real GregoriusT's spaceship's neutronium hull* Ouch. That hurt.

Later...
Hey! Is that Minecraftia? If yes, I'm currently accelerating towards Minecraftia with my current speed being 17 c. Seems like this suit can break the laws of relativity. Wait a minute... I AM ACCELERATING TOWARDS MINECRAFTIA WITH CURRENTLY 17 c!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... *pierces through Minecraftia, eaving behind two "spambot volcanoes"* Hey, look! THat lava looks grey! Wait a minute... Grey lava? Why? Oh, right, Minecraftia's core consists of spambots. That's not good.

Later...
Hey, is that a black hole? Seems so... That's not good. *gets into an orbit around the black hole* Phew, that was luck. So... How do I get away from here? Hello? Help? Please?

-----Begin Transmission--------

By the time this message reaches you in deep space, I will probably be long dead. "Go defend The Company!" they said, "Massive pay increase!" they said. Those bastards at Crafter's Mining Co. sent me here to Planet Epsilon-Gamma-7 alone to set up a mining base of operations with only several RE-batteries, a nanosuit, and a mining laser. Of course this was all before the spam-bots found my radio transmissions. It started out small, but now I'm facing a full scale invasion of spam-bots with just a mining laser, some tesla coils, and my own wits.

ATTENTION TO BASE, TESLA COIL MAIN HULL BREACHED!

Well I guess that last statement is only partially true now. I still have some time left I think, I set up some electrical traps outside this room in anticipation of them breaching the main hull, they should hold out for quite some tim-

ATTENTION TO BASE, GENERATOR ROOM BREACHED!

Damnit! They've gotten smarter! My time is short I've got to-

ajiopgwioDo you want a kitchen!?

Shit!
*PEW* *WHIRL* *SMASH* *BREAK* *SLAM*

*cough* I never thought it would *cough* have to come to this, it's risky, but at a *cough* dead sprint I may just make it to the teleporters!

ATTENTION TO BASE, ON SITE NUCLEAR FAIL-SAFE ARMED, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO CONTINUE!?

ATTENTION TO BASE, ON SITE NUCLEAR FAIL-SAFE ARMED FOR DETONATION! REPORT TO TELEPORTERS IMMEDIATELY!

EXPLOSION IN T-15 SECONDS

EXPLOSION IN T-10 SECONDS

EXPLOSION IN T-5 SECONDS

aefrioweriowohWould you like some flowers?
*PEW* *BOOM*
wejopfeiowraCan I interest you in my lawn mowing services?
I'LL GIVE YOU SOME GODDAMN LAWN MOWING SERVICES! AUGHHHHHHHHH!

--------End Transmission, contact with base Epsilon-Gamma-7-1 lost on June 30th, 2012-------

*Sleeps*
...
*Wakes up*
I don't now: W... Where am I?
GregoriusT: You're in this ship's prison because you:

• broke the law of conservation of energy and
• broke the law of propagation of sound and
• flew faster than allowed.

What do you have to say for your defense?
I don't now: I'm not guity, the suit is responsible for this! True, I created the suit, and I extracted the rubber the suit was made from too often, but I just JUMPED! I didn't intend to destroy a spaceship, several thermonuclear warheads, a planet and a ship's paint and the possibility to believe in the laws of physics!
GregoriusT: Wait a minute... YOU DAMAGED MY SHIP'S PAINT??? I'll throw you into deep space... WITHOUT YOUR SUIT!
I don't now: Wait a minute! Maybe I can help you with whatever you are doing! Maybe this device can help you! *takes out device* *presses button on device*
*GregoriusT and a few guards are thrown away by an energy pulse*
*A forcefield forms around them* *I teleport out of the ship* *an air-filled forcefield forms around me*
*An escape shuttle decloaks in front of me*
*I press another button on the device*
*The shuttle recloaks*
*I teleport back into my cell*
*The forcefield is deactivated*
I don't now: And that wasn't even the best thing we made in the facility! So please, don't throw me into deep space! It's a long way to the next inhabitable planet!
GregoriusT (to a guard): Why does he still have that device?
Guard: You didn't tell us to get his stuff, only the suit!
GregoriustT: Why did I just employ you? (Again to I don't now) Well, I'll tell you if I let you live on this ship later.

*gunfire in the background*
Random officer: We're pinned down by this new S.P.A.M. cannon, it's burying our troops under tons of tinned meat! And what's even worse, we have no idea where the heck T10a is! WE NEED BACK- Wait. found him!
*camera turns to me goomba stomping the crap out of random spambots in my Qsuit*
Same officer: Never mind, we just need help out here. Good day.

Unknown Speaker at unknown position: "Whats that I crafted? It seems like a Telephone. Test...Test...*Hear the "Thing is thrown away* . Whats that out there?"
*Very Loud Exsplosion Sound*
BH"Do you want a kitchen..."
TDRLater...
SpambotX:"sdkjhvezrsvgjnfclkjfdxndsjkfdjf"
SpambotY:dauy<argorydnrgn(coded Spambot Language/CSL)
SpambotZ:"More CSL"

(AI)OV-393: Matrices' firewalls breached. Awaiting orders.

Raider (Wearing head set slightly awkwardly due to hybrid canine morphology): These had firewalls? Guess this happened before.

Wolf: It did. Blame Israphel the Idiot. We ultimately to bail their butts out.

Raider: General Purpose informed me of that 500 year old incident. Cult of, what was it, Ender or Notch had that long and still OV-393 got in after a ? No matter. 393, can you get a lightfeed on the inhabitants of this mess and their names?

OV-393: On it now.

Chief: Jet, bring the screen down.

Jet (a fairly old female pilot with white hair): Yes Sir!

(Jet presses a button and the large scree comes down)

Raider: You read my mind.

Chief: Its the only good multifunction display in this room.

Raider: True. (Sees the chaos that has unfolded and the lack of preparation) 393, put this in front of everybody's faces so they get the messenge and the spambots don't. ("Gives" AIOV-393 a gif file showing what to do.) Docs, are there any out there other vessels other than the ones we brought?

Docs (The head geologist): Yes, some vessels marked with GregTech Intergalactical, according to OV-354.

Raider: Double F (Freedom Fighter), you get the honors of nudging those ships out of here and getting their attention. There is a GregoriusT on this list. I'll see if I can raise him later. The deadline is tomorrow, so I need to send some more personal messenges. (Sits a console and types) : /msng Sinnaj63 Oy, wake the heck up! Your crap won't work tomorrow unless you put it in a glass lined box sitting in a metal room or something similar. : /msng T10a Oy, wake the heck up! Your crap won't work tomorrow unless you put it in a glass lined box sitting in a metal room or something similar. : /msng Feanturi Oy, wake the heck up! Your crap won't work tomorrow unless you put it in a glass lined box sitting in a metal room or something similar. : /msng Leo17453 Oy, wake the heck up! Your crap won't work tomorrow unless you put it in a glass lined box sitting in a metal room or something similar. : /msng passinglurker Oy, wake the heck up! Your crap won't work tomorrow unless you put it in a glass lined box sitting in a metal room or something similar. : /msng Idontknow Oy, wake the heck up! Your crap won't work tomorrow unless you put it in a glass lined box sitting in a metal room or something similar. : /msng Nanomanz Oy, wake the heck up! Your crap won't work tomorrow unless you put it in a glass lined box sitting in a metal room or something similar. : /msng SpwnX Oy, wake the heck up! Your crap won't work tomorrow unless you put it in a glass lined box sitting in a metal room or something similar. : /msng JaffKree Oy, wake the heck up! Your crap won't work tomorrow unless you put it in a glass lined box sitting in a metal room or something similar. : /msng bbqraost Oy, wake the heck up! Your crap won't work tomorrow unless you put it in a glass lined box sitting in a metal room or something similar. : /msng CrafterofMines57 If you are there: Oy, wake the heck up! Your crap won't work tomorrow unless you put it in a glass lined box sitting in a metal room or something similar. : /msng alexthesax Oy, wake the heck up! Your crap won't work tomorrow unless you put it in a glass lined box sitting in a metal room or something similar. : /msng Alblaka The whole place has gone to heck with spambots, so I will place these systems under electromagnetic attack, so your stuff won't work tomorrow unless you put it in a glass lined box sitting in a metal room or something similar.

Sparks (Head engineer): (Comes from elevator) A spambot got on board.

Raider: (Enters elevator and goes to the hold) Which one of you did it?

AIV Microquake: (Whistles and tries to quitely get away)

Raider: (Picks up the 45 pound miniature tank and flips it over onto its turret)

AIV Microquake: (flips back over) Never bring one of those on board again.

Raider: (unslings Recoiling Barrel Assualt Rifle 10 and buttstocks the spambot, disabling it for reverse engineering)

OV-393: I have a trojan trying to get in.

Raider: (while returning to bridge) Bring it up. (gets to bridge, sees origin address, returns to hold, and shoots AIV Armored Truck One)

AIV AT-1: Ow!

Raider: That fix the problem?

OV-393: Yes, but now another is trying to get in.

Raider: (again while returning to bridge) Good thing your AV software does not allow anything that comes from a network connection to tamper with anything outside of the temp folder. (reaches bridge) AT-2 (AT-1's "brother"), go spam this address with warnings.

AIV AT-2: Acknowledged!

Raider: This is going to be a long weekend.

AIV Microquake: Yes it is.

Raider: Shut up.

-----Beginning Transmission-------

(Location)"Far l<n'ds"

Hello to all sur&ivors of the @pam bot apocaly&se, after years of waiting for this co#puter cube to ship, I can finally speak to others. By the time you get this, the spam bots will h@^e gott$n t& th[ far l@n5s. %$@$ &3^ loosing %73^4 pow&3 beware&3 7%7%@ corruption %7#^% spam bots &$*^% $&$

-----Signal Lost-----