Fun: Diary of the last survivors of the spambot apocalypse

  • Day 40
    If anyone here has ever had memories of playing with these as toys, you might be happy now. They are now joining us in this great war against the spambots.


    THE 7 TOA FROM THE BIONICLE UNIVERSE!



    --END OF MESSAGE--

  • --GENERAL HIGH POWER FREQUENCY HIJACK--
    if we are relying on legos to save the day then I call dibs on this sucker http://brikwars.wikispaces.com/Armoured+Core
    *noms spambot-scone*
    --END TRANSMISSION--

    true balance is impossible in video games the best one can hope for is to make it really hard to guess which of 2 choices are better.
    and remember kids "NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF JOKES!"

  • We are not only using heroes from lego, but also bosses from Terraria. As in some of my other messages, I have reprogrammed Skeletron Prime, The Destroyer and The Twins. I have also summoned the Wyvern.


    --END OF MESSAGE--

  • Day 42
    -- BEGIN TRANSMISSION --


    What the hell is happening!


    The Zerg are attacking the Planet and LEGO-Soldiers are our "last" hope!


    Now i try to summon Alblaka with a huge Lightningrod and a large amount of impaled Noobs, and guess what happened to all these Noobs:
    NEARBY ALL OF THEM WERE KILLED BY THE BOTS, BEFORE I EVEN TRIED TO SUMMON ALBLAKA!!!


    I need Noobs to impale them on my Lightningrod. Bring as much as possible to the Teleporter!!!


    -- END TRANSMISSION --

    I don't say, your "insert whatever" is bad. I'm only showing ways for making it better.
    GregTech Website
    Patreon really helps me out. If you consider funding the development of GT, so I might be able to do it fulltime, why not?
    GregTech 6, the Main Thread, Bug Reports go here too.
    I'm also on #gt-dev on irc.esper.net, if you don't want to make a Forum account just to contact me.
    (I'm there almost every day, when I'm at my own computer. Yes you can drop bugs and suggestions there too)

  • Day: 43
    Location: Siberia


    -- Begin Transmission --
    I heard someone needed noobs, because hundreds of them have come to my fortress.
    MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar
    MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar
    MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar
    MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar MinecraftChar
    Im sending them through the teleporter saying that on the other side is a haven.
    But thats not whats on the other side! < :D >
    *MAD SCIENTIST LAUGH*
    I will also help you by giving the schematics and parts to make the ripfield generator.


    -- End Transmission --

    The Truth! (!!!WARNING!!! DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU'RE RELIGIOUS IN ANY WAY!!!)


  • DAY 43: I was sitting around, minding the surrounding Plains with my MiningLaser when suddenly I heard a strange 'KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE' and then... OMFG ZERG RUSH!!!!!! D:
    HOW DAFUQ AM I SUPPOSED TO DEFEND THIS BASE FROM THE ZERG?! Teleporting now! Tesla coils staying hot! Good luck getting in without the Zerg following ._.


    **END OF DAY 43**

  • Day 44
    I have a storage room full of old T-150 Terminator robots. They do not yet work but I am currently repairing them and reprogramming them. I will be sending them off to fend off the Zerg invading the base once Im finished.


    --END OF MESSAGE--

  • Log entry, stardate 125.27 after first attack...
    They infiltrated the city's computer systems... The Trade-O-Mats only sell kitchens! I have to get back to the facility. I hope they didn't program the mass fabricators to produce Hose Crimping Machines. *Explosion in Background* Oh no, the compressors got overcharged! I have to deactivate the reactor instantly! Where's the remote...
    **END OF ENTRY**

    Sorry for my not perfect English, my native language is German. If I made any mistakes, please tell me.
    The "now" in "I don't now" is intended.
    I pretty much stopped playing Minecraft for Kerbal Space Program and you should do the same!

  • Day 46
    -- BEGIN TRANSMISSION --


    We have completed the Noobimpaling, now we have only to wait for a Lightningstorm.


    These Zerg are very hard to defeat, i think i have to use the Disrupter against them, so that all are defeated at once. I only need to configure it, so that it only destroys Zerg and Lifeforms, which are very similar to them.


    And no, the Disrupter wouldnt work on Spam-Bots (without destroying the Surface of the entire Planet), because in that case i would've fired it, before that Apocalypse.


    -- END TRANSMISSION --

    I don't say, your "insert whatever" is bad. I'm only showing ways for making it better.
    GregTech Website
    Patreon really helps me out. If you consider funding the development of GT, so I might be able to do it fulltime, why not?
    GregTech 6, the Main Thread, Bug Reports go here too.
    I'm also on #gt-dev on irc.esper.net, if you don't want to make a Forum account just to contact me.
    (I'm there almost every day, when I'm at my own computer. Yes you can drop bugs and suggestions there too)

  • Day: 47


    -- Begin Transmission --
    THE ZERG ARE BEING AS-BZZZTTT- BY THE SPAM BOTS!!!
    THE ZERG A-BZTZZT- THE SPAM BOTS ARE BECOMING STRONGER!!!
    THEY'RE... THEY'RE... EVOLVING!
    The Spam bots are not robotic there...
    humans from the future that have no jobs.
    but now there more there transhumans!!!

    The Truth! (!!!WARNING!!! DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU'RE RELIGIOUS IN ANY WAY!!!)


  • Day 49: Now that I'm in one of GregTech Intergalactical's ships, I shall ask the captain for permission to fire the A.L.B.A.K.A Cannon.


    He says I can, entering coordinates. IMMA FIRING MAH LAZOR *massive energy beam is heard firing in background* THIS WILL TURN ALL SPAMBOTS INTO TRANSHUMAN LIGHTNINGRODS! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Suddenly, I see that THERE IS STILL A FEW MOTHERFUCKING SPAMBOTS LEFT! WTF?! WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO KILL THEM ALL?! Imma coordinate more strikes later, the A.L.B.A.K.A Cannon's out of energy.
    **END OF DAY 49**

  • Day 50: INCOMING TRANSMISSION


    This is Sergeant Ridley, what happened? Team PIGU DELTA went in to recover the MSFU for the A.L.B.A.K.A cannon, our advance scounting guard never returned. Reply dammit! Hello? I got the machine gun stash from SDK. Hello? Wait... NOT HER YOU BITCH!

    1. OMG CREEPER RUN AWAY!
    2. Go away, you creeper wierdo!
    3. What ever, I'll just go around.
    4. Hup, over their heads I go!
    5. Okay Mister living grenade, I'm going to knock you into those skeletons, and I'll follow through with a nano saber. Understood? FOR THE ALMIGHTLY DRAGON LORD!

  • Day: 51
    (FINAL PART BECAUSE ALBLAK GETS THE FINAL POST)


    THE FINAL STAND!!!


    *ALL THE HEROES UNITE TOGETHER*


    WE SHALL ALL PROTECT THE LIGHTNING ROD!!!
    Including me!
    *everyone gasps as a portal appears and the Devil comes out*
    I hate these spam bots!! :cursing:


    Narrator:
    EVERYONE SLAYS THE SPAMBOTS AND ZERG!!!
    But there to powerful!
    but then all of a sudden...
    It rains...
    and ligtning strikes the LIGTNING ROD!!!
    and all the clouds turn dark black and a ray of light appears!!!
    IT IS...


    (Next part will be the final part Where Alblaka destroy all the enemys)

    The Truth! (!!!WARNING!!! DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU'RE RELIGIOUS IN ANY WAY!!!)


  • (not final)


    You have summoned the eternal dragonamdlmdd!
    Name your wish your enemy and it shall be granted it shall be smited with the power of the seven dragonballs Java!

  • --BEGIN RECORDING--
    time awake: 00:00:00:00
    *snort!* huh!? why do i always wake up at midnight!? *boom!* what going on out there?


    time awake: 00:05:03:27
    the calculations are conclusive if i continue to consume passively i will not survive till the next nerfer spawning an alternative food source must be found


    time awake: 00:10:46:21
    results are not good so far it appears that i slept through an apocalypse that wiped out all life besides spam bots i will have to gather supplies and venture out in hopes of find a more habitable ecosystem


    time awake: 00:10:47:56
    just slipped on some batter in the kitchen its taste is peculiar. its no nerf waffle but it may sustain me if i cram enough of it. I am proceeding to reverse engineer the batter and find what it is made out of


    time awake: 01:03:11:29
    it appears to be a scone recipe made out of spam bots(related: i am brilliant when subconsciousness)


    time awake: 01:07:53:01
    I am charging my teleporter the plan is to beam into the densest concentration of bots and feast it is risky but really i'm more likely to die of hunger than a little spambot


    time awake: 01:12:05:46
    survivors spotted in the exact center of a sea of spambots they appear to be trying to summon the almighty dragon lord. pfft n00bs thats no way to bring the great alblkaka into the material plane i best get over there and set this right feasting along the way of course


    time awake: 01:12:05:47-01:23:59:59
    DIE BY YOUR OWN WEAPONS SEMI-DELICIOUSE SCUM! *WISK! BLEND! FRY! BAKE!* NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM!


    time awake: 02:00:00:00
    the stoke of midnight perfect! OH ALMIGHTY DRAGON LORD ALBLAKA! We who pledge alligence and fandom to you call upon you to wipe the spambot SCOURGE from this land WITH THE POWER OF YOUR GREAT IP-BAN HAMMER OF GREAT JUSTICE! And seal the entrance from which they came against then BY ALTERING THE LAWS OF THE VERY UNIVERSE AGAINST THEM! so that the words that they use that we do not shall be endowed with power THE POWER TO BAN THE ONE WHO SPEAKS IT NAME SO THAT THEY MAY NEVER RETURN! in this we say...
    HAYO!


    --END RECORDING--

    true balance is impossible in video games the best one can hope for is to make it really hard to guess which of 2 choices are better.
    and remember kids "NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF JOKES!"

  • Day 54: Sky has gone black, and- OH MY GOD IT'S THE DRAGONLORD ALBAKA! OH GREAT MIGHTY ALBAKA! GRANT OUR WISH SMITE THE SPAMBOTS WITH THE 7 DRAGONBALLS JAVA SKILLS!



    *To crew* DIVERT LOTS OF POWER TO THE ENERGY TRANSMITTER, AND AIM IT AT ALBAKA


    Crewman: T-10a, that will disable our antiSpambot defenses for a while!


    Me: JUST DO IT!


    Crewman: Ok, ok.


    *Energy beam heads for Albaka, giving him craploads of energy to smite Spambots with*


    Crewman: It is done, T-10a.


    Me: Excellent. WE SHALL DEFEAT THE SPAMBOTS! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! It's fun being in charge of a Spaceship :D


    **END OF DAY 54**

  • Your wish shall be granted *omnius red glowing eyes*
    It's dangerous out there, take this: *creates a glowing pointy stick out of nowhere*
    *disappears*
    Undefineable background voice: "OMG, a portable EV-Tesla-Coil!"

  • Day 56:


    DROID: Sir, we will be sending command signals to the spamkiller robots and Bionicle soldiers telling them to come back to this base. We will also be calling the Wyvern.
    Good. I think their job here is done. Tell the Bionicle soldiers to keep guard just incase there are still some spambots left. Also repair the robots too. There are high chances they have sustained intense damage.


    --END TRANSMISSION--

  • Day 56 (evening)


    -- BEGIN LOGENTRY --


    After all that Chaos, Alblaka appeared and granted T-10a the wish to defeat the Robots, and gave him ... one portable EV-TeslaCoil.


    I just thought: REALLY??? Only a Teslacoil with 2048EU shockingcapacity? Seriously, my Walkingstick has more electric Power, than that.


    But now i have my Disruptorwavegenerator configurated to finally destroy the Zerg in this Solarsystem, i should send a Message to inform them about its activation.


    -- END LOGENTRY --



    -- BEGIN MULTIFREQUENCIAL TRANSMISSION --


    Hello World, its me Gregorius,


    I think most of you recognized, that the Zerg are attacking our cubical Planet, you have no longer to worry about that, i will just destroy them, so that we can fight the remaining Spambots. *beewp* I have now activated the Disrupterwavegenerator, which is configurated to destroy all zergalike Lifeforms in our Solarsystem. You will soonish see a blue Wave, which is destroying the Zerg. This Wave is not dangerous to other Lifeforms or Robots, so that you dont have to worry about that. But now, where the Zerg are no longer a Problem, we can focus on the Bots.


    -- END TRANSMISSION --

    I don't say, your "insert whatever" is bad. I'm only showing ways for making it better.
    GregTech Website
    Patreon really helps me out. If you consider funding the development of GT, so I might be able to do it fulltime, why not?
    GregTech 6, the Main Thread, Bug Reports go here too.
    I'm also on #gt-dev on irc.esper.net, if you don't want to make a Forum account just to contact me.
    (I'm there almost every day, when I'm at my own computer. Yes you can drop bugs and suggestions there too)