Fun: Diary of the last survivors of the spambot apocalypse

  • -- BEGIN LOGENTRY --
    These Spambots were dump enough, to hack one of my Holoprojecting Satellites, which was Displaying a holographical Version of my Flagship, and then they really thought, that it was my Ship HAHAHAHAHA!!!


    They dont even know, that my Ship is too far away for reaching it. Even with my best Hyperdrive, they would need Months to get here, and even then i could flee with my Wormholedrive to somewhere else in Seconds.


    Every Computerconnection between my Flagship and Minecraftia has been disconnected, so that these Bots are never able to get a Virus on my Flagship. I'm only receiving Sensorinformation from there, and this cant hack my Flagship (even if its able to send me false Information about the Planet).


    Good, that my Duplicates are connected via small Wormholes to prevent hacking, and are also able to check, if a Command is logical enough to come from me.
    -- END LOGENTRY --
    -- BEGIN TRANSMISSION --
    These Bots are now using DUB-STEP to interrupt our @§$%&/()cation on all Freq@€$%&/&%$


    We are no longer $%³{[€@ to commun@€$%&/ each other.


    €$%&/)@&/(WOOP-WOOP-WOOP-RZRZRZRZRZRZR³{[{5&/)(&/E
    -- END TRANSMISSION --

  • --chopper dashboard cam activated--
    --ocupants identified: Leo(owner/pilot), passingurker(iz an awesome hazorpassenger), i don't now (passenger), nanomanz (passenger)--
    --BEGIN RECORDING--
    leo: we should be nearing the rendezvous with gregs rescue ship
    lurker: *grunt*
    leo: when we get there are you finally going to let us in on this big world saving secret that you keep alluding to?
    lurker: *grunt*
    leo: ok 1 grunt for yes 2 grunts for no
    lurker: grun-GGAAAAHHH!!!
    leo: what the crap! are you alright!
    lurker(in pain): NNoO! ItS LiKe A VoIcE Of RaGe eChOiNg AcRosS tHe MuLtIVerSe! I dOn'T HaVe MuCh TiMe TaKe THis!!
    *shoves note at leo and leeps from chopper*
    --WHAT PASSINGLURKER IS EVOLVING!--
    *pokemon evolve music*
    *godzilla scream*
    --CONGRATULATIONS PASSINGLURKER HAS EVOLVED INTO...--
    --PASSING-GODZILLA-HULK-CLOVERFIELD!--
    all: whoa!
    i don't know: the energy he is emitting is off the charts! I'm reading huge spambot activity! we have to get out of here!
    leo: hold on hitting afterburners!
    --RECORDING PAUSED: BORING CHASE SCENE--
    --RECORDING RESUMED--
    nanomanz: that was the most creative use of melon I have ever seen
    leo: why thank you
    nanomanz: so what did that note lurker gave you say?
    *passes back note*
    --back seat cam activated--
    note: super secret ancient knowledge of how to reforge the core if it ever got turned into spambots in 5 easy(near impossible) steps
    1) find the heart of the asshole(fenixr) and combine it with the weapon of the chosen one(T10a's portable tesla coil) to create what what all spambots fear(spambot repulsion field transmitter)
    2) unlock the gate to every where(disable a teleport pads dupe guards) and spread the fear across the world(dupe-teleport the repulsion field transmitter to every pad simultaneously(your going to need a crap load of power))
    3) the spambots shall flee and the warmth of the earth shall come from its hiding place(under intense weight and friction of all the bots trying to put as much distance between them and the field as possible the bots at the core will melt creating a chain reaction that will reform the mantel)
    4) ???
    5) profit
    i don't know: do you think lurker will be alright?
    *giant ball of spambots slams in to distant mountain*
    *godzilla-like nuclear-breath-beam fires into ball of spambots*
    leo: i think he can handle himself
    --END RECORDING--

    true balance is impossible in video games the best one can hope for is to make it really hard to guess which of 2 choices are better.
    and remember kids "NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF JOKES!"

  • ---BEGIN RECORDING---
    If anyone finds this, know that I am going to die. I no longer have any food, water, or power.
    I just wanted to tell the world that-RAWWWRRR!!!!! What the fuck? *Looks up* holy sh- *Giant godzilla foot breaks through 50 layer bed-stone* Sunlight! *Graps on passinglukers godzilla food, gets pulled to surface* Holy shit a copper!
    Hey guys in the chopper, help! Quick, pick me up!
    .....
    ......
    ---END RECORDING; NO HUMAN VOICE HEARD---

    MinecraftCreeper =Ahh fuck!
    :Nuke TNT: = SHIT!
    MinecraftCreeper+ :Nuke TNT: =SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, WE ARE ALL CLUSTERFUCKED!!!!

  • --Initiate 64-bit encryption layer
    --Encryption layer successfully initiated
    --Mining laser free space optical communicator online
    --Safe narrow beam comm channel opened.
    --Uploading current tactical map
    --Map uploaded.
    --Communication intercept probability:0.001%


    --TRANSMISSION INITIATED--
    --Location: house--
    I have heated up my microwave satellite and my SSTO craft. At least my free space communicator and some of the hard lines are resistant to spambot attack. Now I'm ready to do orbital bombardment. If Minecraftia are overrun by spambots, I will glass the entire planet. My power plant are still running, and all of my quarry are still operational. All Rocket Science ICBM are ready to launched,just awaiting coordinates.


    --WARNING SPAMBOT ALERT--
    --MFFS ACTIVATED--
    --TESLA COIL GRID ACTIVATED--
    --LASER MOD LASER GRID INITIATED--


    Oh no the spambot have got near my house!! I don't want to leave this house, so I will change the SSTO craft to remote control mode and park it in geosynchronous orbit to become my satellite relay.


    --SSTO RELAY READY--
    --BURST TRANSMISSION INITIATED--
    --BURST TRANSMISSION COMPLETED--


    Dota 2 player at SEA server.


    For me nothing is OP. It just a mod for fun and I'm playing it for fun. Unless it created items from nothing. Automining not included, neither do in case of self replicating machine. However GregTech is still good, so:


    GregTech Documentation Task Force Needed!

  • I wonder if he can still understand the messages we send him...


    Help! Help!


    What the... *sees DrK* Grab on! I'll pull you up! *throws down harness*


    DrK: thanks. I nearly starved to death out there! *eats his mushroom soup*
    Me: no prob. I can fly you back to your base, but if you don't have one you can stay with me. Also, you should take this. *gives DrK a vilethorn*
    DrK: what is it?
    Me: it's called a vilethorn. I'll tell you what it can do and how to use it later.


    --END RECORDING--

  • Guys, did you get my transmission?
    Leo: It was scrambled
    Me: It was? Damm, spambots jamming shit. Well, Spambots are being drawn to Gregtech like crazy, it must be something they emit. They have found a way to duplicate themselves from the power they are siphoning of the Gregtech. Also, when I was holding them off a while back, my Nano saber ran out of juice, and in desperation I threw iridium plating at the spam bots. It went straight through the last bot, so we could try making sabers of iriduim?
    I don't now: We could try...

    MinecraftCreeper =Ahh fuck!
    :Nuke TNT: = SHIT!
    MinecraftCreeper+ :Nuke TNT: =SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, WE ARE ALL CLUSTERFUCKED!!!!

  • --64-bit encryption layer initiated--


    Drk D3m0n, I receive your transmission too and currently my orbital bombardment satellite are moving into attack position, which is above Gregtech. At least we can slow down the spambot duplication rate. Currently I'm working on a spacecraft project that can move my house into outside solar system, which then I can activate spacecraft's teleportation system to link up with GregoriusT flagship, if he allow me. Even if he doesn't allow me, my spacecraft is technically a mobile base, so I can attack spambot safely.


    Dota 2 player at SEA server.


    For me nothing is OP. It just a mod for fun and I'm playing it for fun. Unless it created items from nothing. Automining not included, neither do in case of self replicating machine. However GregTech is still good, so:


    GregTech Documentation Task Force Needed!

  • -- BEGIN BROADCAST FROM RESCUESHIP --
    My Ship is currently flying to the ruins of the GregTower. The Bots have reproduced too much to let them stay there.


    I will freeze them with the Freezerays of the Ship, and T-10a, who is also here, has also his Teslacoilthingy to kill them.


    *Incoming Message* *64-bit encryption*


    An incoming Transmission? Well then, Bye.
    -- END BROADCAST --


    -- BEGIN BLACKBOX-ENTRY --
    "...Currently I'm working on a spacecraft project that can move my house into outside solar system, which then I can activate spacecraft's teleportation system to link up with GregoriusT flagship, if he allow me..."


    Huh? How the hack does he plan to fly into another Galaxy? Where does he think am i? A Neighbursolarsystem?


    All my Transmissions were sent via the Rescuespacecraft. He cant know where my Flagship is. Oh moment, i didnt tell them, that my Flagship is already in another Galaxy, so he might think, that its still in the Solarsystem.


    I send a Message back, to inform him about it.
    -- END BLACKBOX-ENTRY --


    -- Initialize 64-bit Encryptionlayer --
    -- BEGIN DIRECT TRANSMISSION --
    Hello, random Guy, who thinks that he can even find my Flagship. I have to inform you, that you will not be able to even reach the Location of my Flagship with Hyperdrive, Warpdrive or something other, than Wormholes. And i have to tell you that there is not enough Energy on the entire Minecraftian Planet to create an Housesized Wormhole to my Location.


    I'm actually only reachable via a Stargate, but i won't tell anyone the Coordinates to it, due to the high risk of getting infiltrated by the Bots. Oh and the planetary Stargate is inside my Rescueship, to make sure, that i can evacuate everyone to another lifely Class M Planet in our Minecraftgalaxy.
    -- END TRANSMISSION --

  • *Back at Leo's base*
    Leo: Damm, how the hell will we get Fenixr's heart?
    Me: Why the hell would you need that?
    Leo: Here, read this *Passes passinglurker's note*
    Me: I'm not sure about the other stuff, but there is a way to make the shiton of power needed for the dupe-port
    I dont now: How?
    Me: This *Places Black Crystal on table*
    All: What the fuck is this?
    Me: It's a special Crytal of my Invension, blessed by Alblaka, that contains 5 Trillion EU. And, if I'm not mistaken, the only place that can tap into the energy in it AND has a dup-porter, is the old shrine of Alblaka.
    Nanomanz: You mean the one that's completely...
    Me: Overrun by spambots. Yes
    I dont now: Not to mension highly radioactive
    Leo: Well, we need the other ingreediants first.
    Me: True, but with this we have just enough power to do it.

    MinecraftCreeper =Ahh fuck!
    :Nuke TNT: = SHIT!
    MinecraftCreeper+ :Nuke TNT: =SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, WE ARE ALL CLUSTERFUCKED!!!!

    The post was edited 1 time, last by DrK D3m0n ().

  • Science log, stardate 268.04 after first attack.
    We know how to save the planet's core now. Also, we have enough energy to do so. The device we were working on in the facility could really help us, but it's not tested yet and I didn't tell them about it yet. *Someone activates the door "bell"(You know, like in Star Trek)* Come in!
    *END OF LOG ENTRY*
    [Leo17453:] What is that device?
    [Me:] What device?
    [Leo17453:] The device you just mentioned in your log.
    [Me:] How can you know about it? The room's walls and the door are soundproof!
    [Leo17453:] Not important.
    *I press a button on the device I'm taking out of my pocket*
    *Leo17453 is getting thrown out of the room by an energy pulse*
    *A forcefield forms at the door* *I teleport out of the base*
    *An escape shuttle decloaks in front of me*
    *I press another button on the device*
    *The shuttle recloaks*
    *I teleport back into my room*
    *The forcefield is deactivated*
    [Me:] This is the device. Of course, there are more features.

    The forum won't let me specify my gender accurately, so I'll just use my signature to say that I go by they/them pronouns.

  • -In an underground bunker, a few survivors of the spambots meet-
    Nanomanz: So, the problem at hand is we don't have enough EU...
    Passinglurker: GRRAK
    Nanomanz: ...to power the microwave. I hate cold toast.
    Leo: Well, it's better than no toast...
    I don't now: Guys, could we stop discussing breakfast and discuss something important?
    Nanomanz: Well, we need to discharge that crystal...
    *Dramatic point*
    Nanomanz: ...and the only way to do that is at the shrine of Alblacka...
    Leo: Yes...
    Nanomanz: Well, according to legend, the almighty DragonLord will vanquish the enemy if he is summoned.
    I don't now: And this has what to do with the Crystal?
    Passinglurker: GRRAKKGRRR
    Leo: Yeah, let him finish
    Nanomanz: So, why don't we summon the DragonLord?
    *Massive uproar*
    Nanomanz: Calm down guys, all we need to do is toast a n00b on a lightning rod...
    I don't now: And do a little dance in a circle. Yeah, we know.
    Leo: But where will we find a Lightning Rod?
    Nanomanz: In the shrine of Alblacka. They kept one there for summoning in an emergency.
    I don't now: Great! But wait a second, where will we find a n00b to toast?
    Leo: Yeah, all of them were trapped by the spambots and replied to their posts...
    Passinglurker: Grrak...
    Nanomanz: *Reaches for toast* *There is no toast left* *Looks stupid*
    -And so, our heroes are trying to come up with a plan to stop the spambots. Will they succeed? Or will they fail? I don't know, but both will be pretty awesome. Stay tuned!-

    Haikus are poems

    They don't always make sense

    Potato

    The post was edited 2 times, last by Nanomanz ().

  • -- BEGIN BLACKBOXENTRY ON FLAGSHIP --
    Gregorius:
    Did you finally found a Planet with Minecraftia-similar Core


    Flagship-Computer:
    Actually not, but we found a Planet, which could fit into this Condition.


    Gregorius:
    Good, then scan it. If it has a good Core, then we can try to replace Minecarftias Core with it.
    Is our ZPM-Storage full enough to enable a Wormhole of that size and length?


    Flagship-Computer:
    No, it takes 3888000 seconds, until we have produced enough ZPM's.


    Gregorius:
    Ok. And how about the giant Wormholedrive? Is it finally constructed?


    Flagship-Computer:
    Yes it is finished. We only need to place it inside the Core.


    Gregorius:
    Good.
    -- END BLACKBOXENTRY --

  • -Lightning Rod in hand, Nanomanz attempts to summon Alblacka while the others watch from inside the bunker-
    Nanomanz: It's not working! The circle dance around the toasted n00b is not working!
    Passinglurker: Grrrackk...
    Leo: Yeah, someone else has probably summoned him
    I don't now: Yes, Alblacka gets tired of coming if summoned too often
    Passinglurker: Gggrrrgg
    Nanomanz: Sure, you can use the n00b for waffle batter. Good thing we got the emergency geothermals running, we should have enough power for hot waffles.
    Leo: MMmmm
    I don't now: Yum...
    -Stay tuned for the next episode!-

    Haikus are poems

    They don't always make sense

    Potato

    The post was edited 1 time, last by Nanomanz ().

  • *In Leo's workshop, fiddling around to make an iridium saber*
    Just got to heat the alloy right...
    YES!
    *Waves The saber around*
    This will own those bots!
    *Accidently hit the wall, it goes straight through*
    Whoops, I hope Leo doesn't mind
    *Turns back to the cut in wall, walks off whistling suspicously...*
    Later that day..
    MineMails sent: 1
    Mail sent to GergoriusT
    Greg, just mailing you about saving minecrafia,
    We have a plan to fix the core,
    Just wondering if you have a plan yourself,
    If not, then here's ours:
    File attached: Passinglurker's note

    MinecraftCreeper =Ahh fuck!
    :Nuke TNT: = SHIT!
    MinecraftCreeper+ :Nuke TNT: =SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, WE ARE ALL CLUSTERFUCKED!!!!

    The post was edited 1 time, last by DrK D3m0n ().

  • -- MEANHILE ON THE RESCUESHIP --
    GregoriusDuplicate:
    What the Hack is going up there!?!


    RescueshipComputer:
    T-10a was shooting a Hole in the Hull.


    GregoriusDuplicate:
    AGAIN!?! Send a few Soldiers there to repair it.


    RescueshipComputer:
    Of course.


    GregoriusDuplicate via internal Communicationsystem:
    GREGORIUS @ T-10A: STOP SHOOTING HOLES IN MY SHIP!!!


    T-10a via internal Communicationsystem:
    This time it wasnt me. That Bot just sat there and i had to shoot it!


    GregoriusDuplicate:
    *Facepalm*


    RescueshipComputer:
    A huge amount of Bots detected at the GregTower.


    GregoriusDuplicate:
    Oh really? Are our 3 ZPM's having still enough Energy to freeze them?


    RescueshipComputer:
    Yes, but we would have only 1 ZPM left.


    GregoriusDuplicate:
    No Problem, i can order as much as i want, through the Stargate. Now set course to the right flank of these Bots.


    RescueshipComputer:
    Aye.
    -- END --


  • Day 96 : Inside a cloaked ship in the farlands (still minecraftia) ...


    - It looks like it will take long until those spambots are destroyed...
    Truly as they are constantly duplicating themselves. (Computer)


    -I should try going outside the farlands to help other survivors, but i'm afraid of spambots hacking capabilities. I'm not that good with computing.
    Well we can stay inside the farlands for years if wind/solar generators keeps working.
    Also we are safe against hacking here since ship's forcefield shield will protect the ship against magnetims, but it blocks incoming transmissions.


    ---WARNING! CLOAKING SYSTEMS DAMAGED!---


    - Computer, How did that happen?
    Our sensors detected a intense solar wave that damaged our cloaking system. Cloaking systems will take 21 days to repair, since we are running out of resources.


    ---WARNING! INCOMING SPAMBOT SWARM---


    - Oh shit, they found out my ship.
    - Computer, Fire all Laser Turrets (designed by me) at them!
    90% of Spambots were destroyed, 10% remaining are duplicating themselves.


    - Computer, Activate all propulsion engines, we are moving even deeper in the farlands!
    Propulsion engines activated, care is adviced as our Force Field Shield may require much more energy to handle even stronger magnetism.


    - Fine, but there is no other option for now.
    Ship is consuming more energy than we can produce to maintain Force Field Shields.
    - Computer, check how much energy we have remaining.
    15% of our storage systems are already depleted. It will last for a week.


    -Computer, Activate emergency CASUC Nuclear reactors!
    Nuclear reactors activated. Still not enough to provide enough energy to maintain Shields.
    Storage system will last 21 days now. We have enough Nuclear Fuel for 1 month at the moment.
    If Force Field Shield is deactivated almost everything inside the ship will stop working, since the magnetism would damage many electric systems.


    -Computer, how much time until the completion of space engines?
    It will take forever as we don't have enough resources and are using the remaining ones to repair the cloaking systems.
    We can't land due massive spambot concentration on the ground. We must keep flying. Moving outside the farlands is also not recommended as spambots may have anti-air missiles.
    I recommend you and your crew find a way to teleport outside of here, as ship might not survive.


    -Fine, i will send a message to minecraftia, it will consume 5% of the energy in the storage system as it needs enough power to go through the intense magnetism of farlands.
    -Computer, begin global-wide transmission!
    okay, preparing antenna... Increasing power usage...opening a small hole through the forcefield shield...ready to transmit.



    ---BEGIN TRANSMISSION---


    Hello there anyone that hears this, it's SpwnX who is talking.
    I have Built a new ship, Wind and Solar Powered (also nuclear, for emergency cases).
    Due Farlands strange magnetism, i couldn't waste energy to begin a transmisson until now.
    Spambots weren't able to move here due farlands intense magnetism damaging their systems.
    But it looks like they are improving their shields.


    My ship cloaking systems are damaged, my force field shield (against magnetic fields and some physical damage) is working at full strength.
    I will run out of energy in a few days, so i'm asking for valid teleportation coordinates. Thats probably my only way to get out of here.
    At the moment i will activate my Ice cooled reactor to provide energy to my teleportation system.
    If someone rescues me and my crew i will help that person against the spambots.


    I'm working in two things to help against the spambot swarm :
    The Wind Cosmic Generator, which uses cosmic winds to generate energy. (Useable only by space-ships);
    Nanobots, which are tiny, microbots programmed to infiltrate spambot systems and effectively disabling its functions.


    One last word before ending the transmission : Please use high-frequency transmission otherwise it may NOT get through farlands magnetism.


    ---END OF TRANSMISSION---

  • -One day, at Leo's base, our hero's are listening to Spwnx's message.
    Spwnx: "Please use high-frequency transmission otherwise it may NOT get through farlands magnetism"
    --END OF TRANSMISSION--
    Nanomanz: Well, that is certainly cheerful...
    Dark: Mmhmm
    Leo: We should totally go rescue him
    Passinglurker: *Smashes pot*
    I don't now: Lurker, calm down
    Nanomanz: I understand why Lurker is upset. Spwnx would be an excellent ally, but we can't reach him.
    Dark: We could just rescue him, right? Are you almost done on that Frame-Ship, Nano?
    Nanomanz: Yes, but it's too far away, even in a ship. We would need lots of food to get there...
    I don't now: We also have to get around to discharging that crystal, right?
    Passinglurker: ARRGH! OOOH OH WOOT!
    Nanomanz: Wait, what's going on?
    Leo: Epileptic fit?
    Dark: What if we killed two birds with one stone? Discharged that crystal, and rescued SpwnX?
    *Collective gasp*
    Nanomanz: Yeah! It could work! We simply discharge that crystal into a Lapatron, and we will have plenty of power to reach the Far Lands!
    Everybody: Let's do it!
    *Insert epic battle scene at Alblacka's shrine here*
    Dark: That should be the last of them.
    Nanomanz: Nice work, guys
    Leo: Nano, you and Lurker should go rescue SpwnX. We'll work on getting the teleporters online here.
    Nanomanz: Sounds like a plan. Ready, Lurker?
    Lurker: ARRRGRRHH!
    -And so, our hero's split up for a while, to find SpwnX and save the planet! Stay tuned-

    Haikus are poems

    They don't always make sense

    Potato

  • Hmmmm....
    *Looks around the shrine*
    Ah ha! Leo, come here!
    Leo: What is it?
    It's the crystal de-charger
    Leo: It looks like a microwave withwires inside.....
    I know, but it works
    Leo: So how do we turn this on?
    Easy *Shoves it inside*
    Leo: Dude, is that really the best way to put it in?
    Yes. Yes it is.
    *Insert boring setup*
    Annnd you jusy press here
    *Loud beeping noise*
    And you get power!
    Leo? Hello?
    *Turns around*
    Sweet mother of god....
    That's a fuckload of spambots....

    MinecraftCreeper =Ahh fuck!
    :Nuke TNT: = SHIT!
    MinecraftCreeper+ :Nuke TNT: =SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, WE ARE ALL CLUSTERFUCKED!!!!

  • Me: Right. Sorry bout the holes in the hull.
    GregoriusT: ........


    Me: I'll go down to the fight on the ground then.


    Greg: Alright, I'll prep a Redpowerframe Pod for you.
    Me: No need. *runs to airlock in Qsuit and jumps out of the GSS Gregorius falling to Minecraftia, this hayoish song plays in background near me*


    Greg: What just happened?