Fun: Diary of the last survivors of the spambot apocalypse

    • Official Post

    -- BEGIN LOGENTRY --
    *Incoming Forestrymail*


    What the hack? A Mail? lets see...



    -- BEGIN MAIL --
    note: super secret ancient knowledge of how to reforge the core if it ever got turned into spambots in 5 easy(near impossible) steps
    1) find the heart of the asshole(fenixr) and combine it with the weapon of the chosen one(T10a's portable tesla coil) to create what what all spambots fear(spambot repulsion field transmitter)
    2) unlock the gate to every where(disable a teleport pads dupe guards) and spread the fear across the world(dupe-teleport the repulsion field transmitter to every pad simultaneously(your going to need a crap load of power))
    3) the spambots shall flee and the warmth of the earth shall come from its hiding place(under intense weight and friction of all the bots trying to put as much distance between them and the field as possible the bots at the core will melt creating a chain reaction that will reform the mantel)
    4) ???
    5) profit
    -- END MAIL --
    *Looks at 1)* Hmm... defeating FenixR is easy for me, but where is he? We never found out, in which spanish languaged Country he lives, even if i think its probably Mexico. And the Reason, why the TeslaCoil is even weaker, than my Walkingstick, is that its incomplete? That explains much.


    *Looks at 2)* We need a Crapload of Power? Well, i can order as much ZPM's as i want through the Stargate, but i need them for my own Core-Replacement-Plan. And Dupeteleporting is may not needed, as i still have my Disrupterplatform, and can configure it, with the Repulsion-Field-Transmitter, when we get it.


    *Looks at 3)* Uhhm what? Where did you get that "ancient" knowledge? There are many Errors at this Part of the Plan, but maybe its explained at Step 4...


    *Looks at 4)* WHAT THE FUCK IS "???" MEANING!?! I seriously doubt that this is ancient knowledge, as i got all of their knowledge from the Atlantisdatabase in my Computer!


    *Looks at 5)* Profit? Profit is not what we want, we want to repair the Core...


    I will continue the work on my own Core-Replacement-Plan, as its more plausible, than that...
    -- END LOGENTRY --
    -- BEGIN BLACKBOXENTRY OF THE RESCUESHIP --
    *Loud noise of Spambots breaking through the Hull nearby the Bridge*


    GregoriusDuplicate:
    What the... OK, now you all have to fight against me, and this is not good for you!
    *Shoots "perfect-strength-to-not-damage-anything-else-on-the-Ship"-EMP in the direction of the Bots with Walkingstick*
    *Bots deactivated*


    And now OUT OF MY SHIP!!!
    *Uses Gloveintegrated Tractorbeam to telekinetically move the Bots, with incredible velocity, out of the Hole, where they came from*


    Good, but that Hole doesnt look nice
    *grabs Materializerstick to repair the Hole with Matterconverters*


    Alright and now back to the Bridge.


    -- END BLACKBOXENTRY --

    While at my base, there was a little bit of free time, so I decided to show my teammates the robots I used during the beginning of the war.


    This one is called The Destroyer. It's a huge robotic worm that is almost 1,000 metres long! Inside each segment of its body are small spherical probes that get released once that segment has taken a certain amount of damage.


    Dark: can the probes shoot lasers?


    Yes. They can also shoot lasers while inside their segment.


    Next we have Skeletron Prime. This was a critical robot due to its immense abilities. It has spikes embedded in its skull, and can reveal them and spin it's skull at the same time, causing a sawblade effect. It has 4 arms, each having a weapon: a vice, a laser, a jigsaw and a cannon.


    I don't now: what is its strongest weapon?


    It's strongest weapon is its spikes in its skull, followed by its jigsaw.


    Next is The Twins. It is a very strange robot, as it is a pair of giant eyes. The green one is called Spazmatism, the red one called Retinazer. It is a cybernetic organism, meaning that it is living tissue on the outside, but robot on the inside.


    Nano: what can they do?


    Spazmatism has a heavily modified flamethrower, possibly even made by an alien. It shoots out green flames, which cannot be extinguished by water. Retinazer has a laser turret with 2 modes: standard fire and rapid fire.


    --END RECORDING--

    *Decapitates spambot with iridium saber*


    Me: And stay dead, Bitch!


    Leo: I think that's all of them


    *Hears massive explosion in background*


    Me: Come on, we have to help the others reach the teleporter


    *Leo & I run into the inner sanctum*


    Me: The explosion came from somewhere over there!


    *Heads round the corner, spots Nano*


    Nano: Guys help! Luker is being swarmed


    Me: Get off Lurker you mother fuckers!


    *Some frantic scrambling, slashing, jumping and stabing later*


    Me: Eat this!


    *Shoves boot in spambots mouth*


    Leo: We can't hold them off for much longer!


    Female voice: Teleporters charged. Awaiting orders.


    I don't now: Temple, open an entrance to SpwnX's ship*


    *Regular teleporters flare up*


    *SpwnX comes through, kills the bots that were about to overwhelm everyone*


    SpwnX: Did I miss anything?


    MinecraftCreeper =Ahh fuck!
    :Nuke TNT: = SHIT!
    MinecraftCreeper+ :Nuke TNT: =SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, WE ARE ALL CLUSTERFUCKED!!!!

    INCOMING TRANSMISSION:
    Location: My ship.
    To anyone who can hear this message:
    N-N-N-NathanKj Here...-static-


    I...-static-..have a cannon powered...-static-...by pure vis that can destroy...-static- all of the spambots...-static- if modified.
    I...need 4...-static-...thaumium reinforced tanks and a lot of taint and vis...-static-...and then i can launch a sphere of energy with 10 million times the power...-static-
    Hold on...*adjusts frequency*
    OK. As I was saying, I need 4 thaumium reinforced tanks, a lot of taint, and a lot of vis. I can then launch a sphere of energy with 10 million...-static-... times the power of an Arcane Singularity.
    That should be able to DESTROY all the spambots...-static-...I have developed a Dark Thaumic Generator which runs on taint instead of vis and generates 128 times more EU.


    Computer generated voice: ALERT. SPAMBOTS HACKING FREQUENCIES.


    Me: GAH!..WUBWUBWUBWUBWUB. *quickly adjusts frequencies to be 1600 frequencies higher than before*


    They won't be able to get me anymore until they find out how I am stopping their hacks. I can't change my frequencies to be any higher than this.
    TELEPORTER FREQUENCY=*HIDDEN IN 64 BIT ENCRYPTION CODE*

    DAY [NO DATA AVAILABLE]:
    [TRANSMISSION BEGIN. RECIPIENT: ANYONE.]
    Hey, the outbound transmitter is working. I wonder how that happened... Ahem. Hello. My name... *static*...but call me Patsy. None of you know me. I, however, know at least some of you. I've been monitoring all open transmissions from the safety of my moon base, courtesy of Aperture Science. Thanks Cave! I've also been running scans on Minecraftia. The results are... disturbing. I have reason to believe that the spambots are planning something. I'm not sure what it is. But I believe they're trying to reach critical mass. Again, I have no idea what they could be planning. However, this much is certain: This solar system is no longer safe. The bots have been ramping up their replication rates. If someone were to teleport all the bots out of the core, they would replicate themselves back in, if the planet didn't collapse first. If someone were to wipe out all the spambots on the surface, they would simply repopulate from the core. If both were wiped out, the resulting instability would destroy Minecraftia. If even one spambot were missed, it would begin replication again, and within days, we'd be back to square one. And if even one spambot hijacked an interstellar-capable spacecraft, we would be doomed. I believe the best solution would be to... wait. Is that dubstep I hear? OH GOD TURN IT OFF. *static* ... WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB.
    [TRANSMISSION LOST. SPAMBOT CORRUPTION DETECTED. ACTIVATING DISTRESS BEACON...]


    [DIAGNOSTIC LOG]
    Teleporter: Deactivated. Awaiting reactivation codes.
    Main computer: Unaffected.
    Secondary computer: Disabled due to spambot corruption.
    Scanner arrays: Disabled due to spambot corruption.
    Fusion reactor: Disabled due to spambot corruption.
    Backup generator: Operating at 24% optimal efficiency. Estimated time until fuel depletion: 4 days, 2 hours, 18 minutes.
    Energy storage: 2,000,000 EU. Estimated time until depletion: 3 days.
    Life support: Extremely limited.
    Dome integrity: 2%. Supplemented by force field generators.
    Force field generators: 48%.
    Food supplies: 18% capacity. Estimated time until depletion: 1 week, 4 days.
    Water supplies: 24% capacity. Estimated time until depletion: 6 days.
    Defence systems: Offline.
    Overall status: Critical. Request extraction immediately.


    4 hours later...
    [TRANSMISSION BEGIN. RECIPIENT: ANYONE.]
    Oh god please help me. Spa... *static interspersed by dubstep* ...aken over. All systems fa... *static interspersed by dubstep* ...n't hold out much longer. The transporter is... *static* ...tivated again. I'm sending the co-ordinates embedded in a reCaptcha encryption protocol. If you ca... *static* ...then I at least beg you to give me the teleporter co-ordinates to a safe place. Keelah se'lai.
    [TRANSMISSION END. SENDING reCAPTCHA ...]


    [reCAPTCHA DECRYPTION]
    111--Would you like a kitchen?--8234--We have very good kitchens.--0984--BUY NOW FOR 500 UU MATTER!
    [ERROR: DECRYPTION FAILED. DATA CORRUPT.]

    • Official Post

    -- BEGIN RANDOM ADVERTISEMENTBLOCK, WHICH IS COMING FROM AN OLD SATELLITE --


    Kitchen Planning Edinburgh


    Minecraft 1.3 Commercial


    Simpley Power Supply


    WUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUB RZRZRZRZRZRZRZRZRZRZRZ... *Dubstep-interruption*


    How to use a Hose Crimping Machine- Swaging machine?


    Hello potential Consumer of GregTech Intergalactical, i will show you Today, my newest Antispam... WUBWUBWUBWUB ERRRTERRRTERRRT... *Dubstep-interruption* ... shippingcosts, we are NOT accepting Credits and we are currently out of stock!


    Kitchen for sale London


    -- END RANDOM ADVERTISEMENTBLOCK --

    [TRANSMISSION BEGIN. RECIPIENT: Whoever it is broadcasting those goddamn GregTech ads.]
    KINDLY STOP PLEASE THANK YOU. You've managed to partially corrupt my outgoing transmission feed. Seriously, s--Hey, is that a Minecraft 1.3 advert? -watches- OW GOD MY FUCKING EARDRUMS. That's what I get for using headphones...
    [TRANSMISSION END.]

    INCOMING TRANSMISSION:
    Location:My Ship.
    To anyone who can hear this:
    The spambots...WUBWUBWUB...finally found...WUBWUBWUB...my frequency that I...WUBWUBWUB...am using...WUBWUBWUB...They are hacking...WUBWUBWUB...frequency number...WUBWUBWUB...160,000...WUBWUBWUB...The dubstep...WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY A KITCHEN?...GAH! Why do they keep saying that?!?!?!?!? WUBWUBWU-U-U-U-U-B
    Signal Lost: ERROR: SPAMBOT HACK.


    4 hours later:


    SPAMBOT ANTI-HACK DEPLOYED.


    SPAMBOT HACKS STOPPED.


    INCOMING TRANSMISSION:
    To anyone who can hear this:
    I have created a new robot design that has the cannon I built on it. The robot runs on vis and taint, so I need a lot of it.
    However, I am still building the robot. Currently it is 15% complete.
    My transmissions will be very short from now on to keep spambots from hacking my ship's systems again.
    TRANSMISSION END

    This should over kill --WAWWAERERRR-- YOU DUBSPAMMERS WANNA HEAR MUSIC!?!? FEAST YOUR SOUND RECEIVERS ON THIS!!! --BEGIN SOUNDTRACK-- The impossible game - Phazd -WUWD-SERRZCHSSEEZHHHBESZZZHBUHZ- *dubstep hacking software terminated* *Phazd begins to play* I don't think we'll ever hear anymore dubshit again.
    --END RECORDING--


    We should all give credit to tobycreed for creating the soundtrack:
    http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/155999

    INCOMING TRANSMISSION:
    Location: My Ship.


    I have finally finished the robot. All I need now is the taint and vis. Also, I made 4 assault ships that have taint-mini-guns that have 7 barrels each gun(each ship has 2 guns), one in the center which is the most powerful, and 6 outer barrels.


    TRANSMISSION END

    Start Transmission
    I have been lost in deep space for years. serching for minecraftia but i couldnt find any transmissions. finally someone brodcasted on a freqency high enough to get to my ship. i calculate i am 2000 million block away from minecraftia by how weak the signal was.
    the signal was from NathanKj. I have great news for you. i have about 200 thaumium reinforced tanks filled with pure taint and another 200 with pure vis!
    i will have to find a way to get them to you though. i also have a huge vis and taint production facility. i can manufacture as many tanks filled with vis and taint as you need as long as you dont need any more than 2000 tanks of it. i have a vis and taint capsuler so that could come in handy. please use the highest freqency you can to contact me. i do not have a teleporter but i can make one if required!
    End Transmission

    START TRANSMISSION:
    Recipient: johnnyjr100
    Location: My Ship


    I need 2 tanks of vis and 2 tanks of taint for the robot, plus an extra 8 tanks of taint and 4 tanks of vis for the ships so the guns can fire and for the ships to run. Also, you should make a teleporter.


    *512 bit encryption started*
    My teleporter frequency is 128.2048.8192
    *512 bit encryption finished*


    TRANSMISSION END

    Transmission started
    I am to far out to be of risk of spambot hacking but i am keeping short anyway.
    i just built a teleporter and i have tuned it to the frequency of yours
    sending the tanks over to you
    and the entire production facility because it is good to have
    it will take about 2 days to rebuild but still i am not low on resources.
    any planet i see i quarry out for usefull resources.
    -huge mechanical noise-
    well jjust found another planet. im running scans on it. -mechanical whirring.
    this is odd
    it seems to be made of pure vis and the moon is pure taint!!!!
    this is a breakthough for you.
    capsuling now
    -recording paused-
    2 hours later
    -recording resumed-
    i am sending you the contents of the moon and the planet itself in capsules. i am shure you have the resources to uncapsule them, but just incase im sending you a portable uncapsuler. just plug it into the lines and it will do the rest.
    Oh Crap
    the transmission is to long.
    the spambots are picking up on me getting into my computer.
    well at least i dont have nortin. Whatever you do do not get nortan in is a spambot!.
    end transmission

    SENDING TRANSMISSION:
    Recipient: johnnyjr100
    Location: My ship
    Thanks for all of that vis and taint. Send me the frequency of your teleporter. I'll send you a few things to help protect yourself from spambot hacks.
    TRANSMISSION END

    start transmission
    the power of the transmissions are getting stronger
    that means im getting closer to minecraftia
    my teleporter will only send transmissions now
    im running out of power
    no more planets
    i neede to teleport somewhere
    nathan i am asking to board your ship
    i have all the important stuff with me.
    answer quickly.
    i wont have enough power to run the life support and still have a teleport in about 12 hours.
    hurry.
    end transmission.

    SENDING TRANSMISSION:
    Recipient: johnnyjr100
    Location: Still my ship.


    You can teleport to my ship. Also, -SPAMBOT INTERRUPTION- WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY A KITCHEN? -SPAMBOT INTERRUPTION END- *Deploys Spambot Anti-Hack*
    As I was saying, Also, I have a lot of EU because of my supercooled reactor, which can produce 406 million EU about every 3 hours.


    TRANSMISSION END

    start transmission
    my ship is gone
    all that i have left is a small escape pod
    i deconstructed it
    becuase of the teleport my ship would ether burn up in a sun or be captured by spambots. the latter is why i deconstruced it. it is capable of inter-galaxy travel.
    when i get onboard i request to put my inter-galaxy engine to good use on your ship.
    teleporting as soon as this last lapatron is done charging.
    -teleporter boots up-
    ending transmission then teleporting.
    end transmission

    SENDING TRANSMISSION:
    Recipient: johnnyjr100
    Location: My ship...again



    *512 bit encryption started*


    Inter-galaxy engine huh? That's useful because it could be put into one of my assault ships.
    I am using 512 bit encryption while sending this transmission so the spambots can't intercept it.
    *512 bit encryption end*

    start transmission
    destination greg
    i need a few zpe moduals to power my inter dimensional engine
    my inter galaxy engine is gone upgraded to 5 inter dimentialal engines. i need almost 30 zpe moduals. hurry. i just sent the materials for a sunnarium infused mining laser and sunnarium infused nano sabre. remember sunnarium is upgraded iridum. you need as mutch power as a iridum sabre but it replenishes its own power.
    remembe that spambots are like zombies. DESTROY THE BRAIN AT ALL COSTS!!!!!
    end transmission

    *start transmission*
    Mayday, Mayday, Mayday
    This ROA-A-332, Mayday
    At 0754 hours UTC all ROA-B- satellites reported remote access, we began attempts to regain control.
    At 0800 hours UTC all ROA-B- type satellites began a full retro burn, we were unable to regain control.
    At 0802 hours UTC ROA-B-018's periapsis dropped below the atmosphere of Earth, others followed.
    By 0830 hours UTC ROA-B-018 dropped into the pacific ocean.
    By 0835 hours UTC ROA-B-248, our last satellite, incinerated in the upper atmosphere.
    We have lost all guidance and long range navigational systems. Without guidance we have been unable to intercept asteroids to replenish our Uranium and water supplies. Without water to make Oxygen we expect to run out by the end of the week. Our Uranium supplies will last a few years. We need immediate assistance in gathering water.
    Mayday, Mayday, Mayday
    *end transmission*